We've got these Days of Summer
by cuter-than-a-guinea-pig
Summary: Kurt spends his first summer with Blaine navigating through his first relationship and pondering why he and Blaine seem so different from all of his friends.
1. Chapter 1  I Love You

Kurt played the whole scene over and over in his head that night. He was sitting cross legged at the end of Finn's bed while Finn sat on the floor playing Call of Duty. It was dusk and soon the only light that would fill the room would be that emanating from the television screen. A cool breeze blew in from the open window tickling the back of Kurt's neck causing goose bumps to form and creating the illusion of peace despite the atrocious sights and sounds produced by the death of a solider at the hands of his brother. He didn't really know how he had ended up in Finn's room, because lord knows video games were not his thing. Later, Kurt would conclude that the reason he had chosen to spend his time with his thoughts with Finn instead of alone, as one usually did, was because he needed something to anchor him. Something to remind him that he wasn't dreaming, that he was very much alive and awake and that he had, in fact, spent the afternoon with Blaine.

"Are you ok, dude? Did you need to talk about something?" Finn turned around and asked him for the second time now.

"No, I'm fine" Kurt replied absentmindedly.

There was a truth to these words. Kurt was ok, he was fine, there wasn't anything wrong. Kurt didn't want to talk to Finn, not that Finn hadn't become someone Kurt could talk to, someone he trusted. There just wasn't any desire, any need inside Kurt to talk. Kurt was content to just sit with Finn and let his mind wander back to the scene in the coffee shop that afternoon. Their coffee shop.

He had been so excited to see Blaine. The nationals trip and separated the pair five days and although those five days had been filled with some of the greatest experiences Kurt had ever had he still missed his best friend, his boyfriend, his Blaine. The second Kurt returned home from New York he sent Blaine a text.

**To Blaine:** _coffee tomorrow at noon, i've got soooo much to tell you – K_

**To Kurt:** _can't wait, you better have some good gossip ;) After coffee do you want to help me sift through sheet music to find an audition song for that 6 flags gig? welcome home KK, i missed you – B_

**To Blaine: **_that sounds perfect i missed you too-K_

He had practically skipped his way to the Lima Bean that morning in clad in his favourite pair of skinny jeans, they were turquoise, and a white button down with a checkerboard tie. When he arrived he found Blaine lying on the hood of his car with his arms above his head staring into the summer blue sky. It always amazed Kurt that Blaine could act so goofy, and care free, and child like and yet still be this perfect, put together, intelligent, well spoken, gentleman. Kurt loved that about Blaine, he had since the moment they met. Blaine's playful pose rubbing off on him, Kurt quietly sauntered up to the side of his car and leaned over the hood to whisper in his boyfriend's ear.

"_Hey there handsome, come here often?"_

Kurt didn't get a reply. Instead he was met with one of Blaine's most dazzling grins as the boy hopped off his car and wrapped his arms around him. Kurt returned the hug eagerly and the two of them had just stood there for a moment revelling in each other. It might be strange to others how important this hug was for Kurt but it was, it really was. Both Kurt and Blaine were weary of public displays of affection and so the fact that Blaine had hugged him in the first place was enough to fill Kurt's heart with joy. Even though they were fairly reserved by most people's standards, when they were in the safety of the Hummel house hold or when Kurt had still been at Dalton they were much more touchy feely but when out in the real world they would rarely even hold hands. Being wrapped in Blaine's arms also made Kurt feel safe, wanted, _right, like he belonged in this world._

They had got their usual non-fat mocha latte and medium drip and sat down at the table for two that seemed to be right in the middle of the shop, their table. Kurt had often thought since they had actually started dating about why they didn't pick a more secluded spot but he concluded that it just didn't seem right to abandon it when it had been there for them from the beginning. There had been a few times where they had sat somewhere else, like when their friends joined them. It was ok when they were with others because but when it was just the two of then it was different and they had to have their table. One Tuesday afternoon it had been occupied by a young women typing away furiously on her lap top. He and Blaine had sat down at the adjacent table but as soon she left, without saying a word to each other, the two got up and returned to their rightful spot. It was just their thing.

It seemed to come out of nowhere, prompted by absolutely nothing. He had just been gushing on about nationals when Blaine had said it. It stunned Kurt, shocked him, shot him to the moon and beyond. He had not expected this, not then, and honestly not ever. It was a sad reality that he had practically given up on ever hearing those three words spoken to him, practically, but not completely. Seeing the honesty, adoration, and selflessness that shown through his boyfriends eyes as his declaration had slipped past his lips with ease had restored so much life into him that Kurt hadn't even realised he had lost. It took himself a moment to say it back but he wasn't really saying it _back_, he was saying it _to _Blaine. His Blaine. His boyfriend. His best friend. The gorgeous boy sitting in front of him who had intelligence and charisma like no other, had the ability to make him laugh and smile like no other, to take away and make him forget about the pain, to allow him to be who he was and encouraged nothing less, to make him feel strong and untouchable, to give him courage, to make him feel that something hadn't gone wrong with him, that he wasn't just born this way, he was meant to be this way so he could sit at their table with him. He loved Blaine in every sense of the word. He loved how Blaine had made something as huge and monumental as declaring their love for one another just easy, and effortless, and comfortable because that was the way they were. Nothing too over the top or fancy just two boys who only saw each other. It was simple. It was their thing. It was them.

Surprising to some perhaps but not to Kurt that their day carried on as normal as ever. Watching his brother corner another soldier in some back ally before blowing his head off made Kurt wonder if he had missed something. Finn had come to him several times before, agonising over the pressure he felt from Rachel or Quinn to say the "L" word and then the hidden meaning behind the word that everybody seemed to have a different definition for and the promises, the binding contracts, of what came next. It always changed the dynamic. It always seemed to cause some sort of explosion of heads and hearts and usually his patients. Maybe he was being naive but Kurt thought it would be different with him and Blaine. Their relationship was the same as ever just with the pleasure of a new word to add to their vocabulary. Blaine's declaration was not out of nowhere nor prompted by nothing. It came from that moment of bliss, of just being able to be happy together. It came from everything they had been through together and shared with each other over the past six months. It had come from a place of honesty, adoration, and selflessness that was not corrupted by outside expectation or pressure. There was no need for Kurt to sit and analyse the words that past through his and his boyfriend's lips that afternoon because there was nothing more or less to them then love itself. Yet Kurt still sat cross legged on Finn's bed replaying that scene in his head because he couldn't let it slip away. Their relationship was different than the ones Kurt saw everyday and not just because they were two boys. There was something less urgent about the way they were together, something more delicate, more gentile. The words spoken that afternoon were something Kurt would cherish forever. They bounded the couple together in a way that neither of them was ready to do physically but to Kurt that made those three words all the more powerful. To know that neither Blaine nor himself needed to be physical in order to realise that their feelings for each were real and true and more intimate than either had ever experienced before made Kurt's heart swell. They didn't need to conform to teenage norms, fall into the societal traps that had swallowed so many, including Finn. They could just move at their own pace, take their own road. Just be them.


	2. Chapter 2  Lost in the Park

**A/N: I would just quickly like to say thank-you for the subscribers and the reviews. This is my first attempt at a fanfic and it's nice to know that people like what i'm writing. So i suppose this is going to be a multi chapter thing but they will probably look more like loosely connected one shots, if that makes sense. Hope you enjoy chapter two **

Kurt had never been fond of football nor sports in general. He reluctantly admitted to enjoying himself to a certain to degree while playing the role of kicker for two weeks last year but he had always found watching the games on tv incredibly boring. Today, however, he had agreed to join Rachel, Tina, and Mercedes watch the boys play a game of touch in the park. The group of four that made up the cheering brigade was currently sitting on a blanket in the shade flipping aimlessly through gossip magazines while Finn, Puck, Blaine, and Jeff took on Sam, Mike, David, and Nick. Kurt was really glad that his brother and his boyfriend got along so well. He could picture them all sitting around the Hummel dining room table for thanksgiving one November far in the future talking and laughing and reminiscing. Sometimes Kurt thought it was weird that when he thought of his life twenty years from now Blaine was always there. Rachel seemed to have no problem being "in love" with Finn now and then leaving him at the end of next year to pursue her dreams in New York but Kurt could never do that. He was going to go to New York no question but Blaine was coming too. He couldn't imagine being there without him now. Maybe it was a bad thing to feel so attached and be so dependent on another person at such a young age but it wasn't as if being this way slowed him down. If anything, Blaine built Kurt up and although sometimes he didn't believe it, Kurt knew that Blaine needed him just as much. Maybe that was it though, Rachel didn't need Finn. Rachel had girlfriends that she could talk to about anything intimate or about feeling like she wasn't pretty enough. There were plenty of "Finns" in the world too, take Sam or Mike for example. Kurt on the other hand had only ever come across one Blaine. A sweet, charming, intelligent, out and proud boy with the eyes, lips, and hair of a Greek God who understood what Kurt was going through and was more than willing to guide him through it with no alternative agenda. Blaine was his best friend, his boyfriend, his one and only Blaine and Kurt could never let him slip away.

Kurt was also really glad that the New Direction boys had been happy to let some of the Warblers tag along with Blaine. Kurt had never truly bonded with any of the Dalton boys but they were friendly and Kurt liked them. He also realised that these boys were Blaine's backbone just like Rachel and Mercedes were his. Kurt still didn't know the whole story but he did know that Blaine had come to Dalton broken and shattered and the Warblers, especially Nick and Jeff, had picked up the pieces and put him back together. Kurt could not be more thankful for those two because without their kindness he might never have met Blaine and that was a possibility that Kurt didn't like to think about.

Kurt was pulled from his thoughts as the girls all starting giggling and shrieking. He turned in the direction of their gaze to find that the boys had decided to play shirts and skins. Sam, Mike, David, and Nick had all pulled their t-shirts over their heads and were proudly strutting their stuff for the world to see. Kurt didn't know where to look anymore; there were so many shoulders, and pecks, and abs and hip bones and treasure trails right in front of him. He had always found the locker room uncomfortable because his eyes were naturally drawn to the forbidden flesh that he never got to see. He wasn't allowed to look though. That was the reason for separate male and female locker rooms after all; there would be no unwanted looking. Kurt shivered at the memory of being caught looking when he was in middle school. At the time he was just figuring out exactly what was _wrong _with him and why he was so different and what that all meant. That day he learned that it meant a knee in the groin and public humiliation if he ever acted on those thoughts. If that wasn't overwhelming enough the girls broke into a very detailed discussion about said various body parts on each of the guys.

"Look all you want ladies but just know that those hot Asian abs are mine and he knows it too. As soon as we get alone time that shirt comes right off. I don't even have to ask anymore, he just knows" Tina stated

"Hey I ain't lookin' achore man, I got my own and he is one fine piece of blond, white chocolate" Mercedes replied.

"Wow Mercedes, you've only been dating Sam for like a week" Rachel commented.

"Yeah, I know, and we are taking it slow. We haven't even really made out yet but I can still objectify that body of his. I can't wait to run my hands all over him."

"Mercedes!" Kurt yelped, in shocked disbelief.

"What, don't tell me you don't think about ripping that hobbit of yours' uniform off and just exploring him to your heart's content."

"What? No!"

"Ummmm, I love tracing Mike's abs and hip bone with my fingers, just outlining all the little dips and curves."

"Now usually I refrain from complementing the enemy, you know because just boosting someone's confidence even the slightest could enhance their performance ability, but those Warbler boys are pretty fine too. I mean I love Finn and all but he is lacking in the toned muscle department. I wish he could trade bodies with the cute, African American boy but, you know, still keep the height. I like that has to pick me up for us to be eye level."

Kurt was now absolutely mortified for several reasons. He had always known that Tina and Mike were in a pretty heated relationship so he wasn't surprised by her comments but what did surprise him was Rachel and Mercedes. Rachel was completely disregarding Finn's feelings, nit picking his body because it wasn't as immaculate as the Statue of David...or, well David himself. Then there was Mercedes, who had been dating Sam for a grand total of one week, and already she was imagining running her hands all over him. Kurt had been dating Blaine for four months and the most he had ever fantasized about was instead of Blaine holding his hand while they walked through the halls he would slip his arm around his waist. Or maybe, maybe Blaine's tongue would lick Kurt's lips when they kissed and even the thought of that made Kurt blush. Kurt had always thought that he and Mercedes were on the same level. Before this year neither had been kissed, not counting Britney, neither had ever had boyfriend, not counting the ones that Mercedes had in middle school that lasted a day, neither had been in love. Heck, Mercedes wasn't even in love now. They were on the same playing field, maybe Kurt even had a head start, and yet why did Mercedes have no problem drooling over and dreaming about Sam's body when Kurt got uncomfortable and squirmy just admitting that he was found Blaine attractive.

Kurt suddenly had the need to go for a walk, he just needed to remove himself from the girls' graphic gossip and the boys' sweat glistened chests. It was becoming too much and he just needed to calm down and suppress the oncoming panic attack. As Kurt walked through the park a group of tweens caught his attention. There were five girls and three boys all sitting around in a circle playing go fish. They were all laughing and giggling and telling mildly inappropriate jokes and just doing what twelve year olds do. Two of them stood out to Kurt though as he fondly watched the group of friends converse. The pretty girl with straight, strawberry blond hair, piercing blue eyes, and wearing the pale purple sundress was sitting very close to the handsome boy with black, curly hair, golden, brown eyes, wearing jeans and a navy polo. The two chatted with the group but also seemed to have a conversation of their own going. They would glance, shyly at each other and blush, faintly when their eyes locked. At one point, she whispered something in his ear and his face light up and he started giggling uncontrollably. Their friends started teasing them light heartedly and they blushed even more but went back to innocently flirting with each other. The young pair were adorable and reminded Kurt of himself and Blaine. While the other couples of New Directions would shamelessly make out and hang all over each other when they all got together for parties, Kurt and Blaine would just sit side by side, shoulders touching, and engage all the others while also making their own little inside jokes and stealing their own timid glances. Occasionally, Blaine's hand would drift the rest on Kurt's knee and the butterflies in Kurt's stomach would go crazy and his heart would beat faster. At times like these, Kurt would look over at his boyfriend and see that his cheeks too had gone a little pink.

Maybe that was it though, he and Blaine were like the middle school couple because when it came to development in that area the two boys were behind the pack because they had had to complete an extra step. When Kurt was eleven he wasn't sitting around with friends discussing crushes and things like that. Kurt was hauled up in his room crying, trying desperately to put the pieces together because nothing ever seemed to fit. Kurt never got to innocently flirt with someone, like Mercedes or the adorable girl in the purple dress and boy in the navy polo had because there was never a girl that gave him butterflies and it took him an eternity to realise that it was the boys who did instead. During that eternity the confusion took Kurt through a roller coaster of emotions; he was angry, sad, indifferent, numb, depressed, hopeless, annoyed. He was rarely happy. When eternity had come to an end the situation did not get brighter because now Kurt had to face the fact that he was never going to be allowed to live his life the way he was meant to.

It wasn't until Kurt was sixteen that he felt comfortable enough with the situation to actually pursue a boy. The boy in question was popular, confident, and good looking but what attracted Kurt the most was that the boy was nice to him. He talked to Kurt, not about anything too important or too deep, just about normal stuff like school and glee club, even came to Kurt for advice. He let Kurt talk to him, hang out with him. He didn't run from Kurt like he was contagious, didn't taunt him, didn't hate him. Finn liked Kurt until Kurt pushed the straight boy too far and he snapped. It was a sad fact that at that point in his life Finn had been the closest thing to a Blaine Kurt had ever known. Kurt had clung to Finn because he couldn't see anything better; Finn was it but Finn was only a friend. He and Finn had made amends for their actions and had both moved on but Kurt would always remember that the first boy who he had ever innocently flirted with, the first male friend he had ever really had, had turned around and called him a fag in his own house.

Kurt returned to the girls to find the boys had joined them; the Ohio sun had done them in for a bit. The boys seemed exhausted and seemed to be draping on everyone. Finn had his head resting in Rachel's lap, while she wove her finger through his hair, Mike was leaning against the tree with Tina between his legs leaning on his chest, and Sam was sitting beside Mercedes with his arm resting around her and his head on her shoulder.

"There you are Kurt. I was getting worried."

Blaine smiled at him and patted the ground next to him as Kurt joined the group and sat down beside his boyfriend. A smile broke across Kurt's face as his boyfriend scooted a little closer so that their shoulders touched. The conversation flowed easily and soon the teens were laughing hysterically at some wildly inappropriate joke. Soon Kurt and Blaine had started their own little game of just nudging each other. Kurt liked it. He liked feeling the weight of Blaine's shoulder being pressed into his. He liked that split second when he leaned into Blaine and feeling his boyfriend support his weight. He liked the little smirk that would appear on Blaine's face as a talked amiably with the others that Kurt knew was meant for him. He liked how they would chance a shy glance at each other and both start to blush. He liked that every once in a while Blaine would purposefully push too hard and knock him over. He liked the giggle that escaped Blaine's lips when he did it back. The silly game might not be enough for some couples, Kurt thought as he looked over to where Mike and Tina had long forgotten their friends and were in the mists of a make out session. For him and Blaine though, it was perfect. At the moment Kurt didn't want anything more, he wasn't ready for it because sometimes he had to take a foggy detour while the other kids could just drive straight through. As Blaine slipped his hand tentatively onto Kurt's knee causing the butterflies to awake from their short nap in his stomach, Kurt realised that with Blaine by his side the foggy detour might transform itself into more of the scenic route. Kurt sighed contently as the idea of moving through life with Blaine, at a slow pace, one that they were comfortable with, one that was entirely their own sounded wonderful. There were still going to bumps, concerns that would need to be addressed, but even if he could never picture himself sucking on Blaine's face as Mike was currently doing to Tina or even lying, completely relaxed with his face an inches away from Blaine's crotch as Finn was positioned with Rachel he would get there eventually. They would get there together.

"I love you", Kurt leaned over and shyly whispered in Blaine ear.

A huge grin broke out onto Blaine's face as he turned to stare at Kurt in awe for a moment. Kurt thought he saw water forming on the surface of his boyfriends golden brown eyes. He was mesmerized by the beauty of them momentarily before Blaine leaned towards him kissing him sweetly on the cheek, whispering back

"I love you too."


	3. Chapter 3 Six Flags

It was pretty late before the two hit the road to head home. The sky was dark and the moon was hidden behind the ominous charcoal clouds. It had started raining just as they had reached the car and the intensity of the drops had steadily increased as they drove down the deserted highway. As much as Kurt loved the sun, well as long as he could sit in the shade, he much preferred the rain. The sound of it hitting the car roof, drowning out all other noise, and the way it impaired their vision out of the windshield isolated them from the world. Kurt often felt better when he could cut himself off from the cruel realities that he faced out in this world and create one of his own. He could never stand to be alone for long though and would soon return to his friends and family seeking sociable interactions. At the moment, however, Kurt felt that he had everything he would ever need. He could stay in the car with Blaine forever, drive forever, under the protection of the rain and the night, and the open road. Kurt would have given anything for the comfort of the car earlier today.

It had begun well enough. Blaine had knocked on the Hummel's front door at 10:30 sharp and greeted him with an infectious smile and a quick hug before taking his hand and leading him back to his car before opening the passenger door and helping him in. As Blaine ran around the front and jumped behind the wheel, Kurt noticed the medium drip sitting Blaine's cup holder and a non-fat mocha latte waiting just for him in his. It was turned just right so that the message written in Blaine's messy scrawl was visible. _For my blue eyed angel_, it read. He had froze and blushed at the endearment that Blaine had never used before.

"_Too much?" _Blaine had asked nervously noticing Kurt staring at his note. _"It seemed appropriate at the time; well it still does now, unless of course it is too much. It's just you're so perfect, Kurt, perfect for me, and I just can't believe that it was just some coincidence that we met, that you weren't sent to me and created just for me. I don't know. I'm sorry_."

Kurt couldn't help but think the Finn would never do something like that for Rachel. It wasn't the coffee; it was the fact that his boyfriend had put some thought into the morning just to put a smile on Kurt's face. He had left earlier so that he could make the extra stop and still be on time as well as remembered Kurt's order and had personalized it. They could have easily stopped for coffee on the way but Blaine had wanted to do something special. It was sweet and entirely Blaine. Kurt had looked over at his boyfriend to find him blushing too.

"_No, don't apologise. It's sweet...and maybe a little intense but I like it_."

Kurt thought that that was a good way to sum up their relationship: sweet because everything was done innocently, and shyly, with the end goal of making the other smile and intense because at the age of seventeen, after knowing Blaine for a total of six months, Kurt couldn't picture his life without him. Kurt liked it though; it was so perfect, perfect for him.

Blaine had been scheduled to perform three shows: one at noon, one at six, and one at nine. Other than that though he was free and had free admission to the park. Kurt had been thrilled when Blaine invited him along because he loved watching Blaine on stage. It was one of the few times when Blaine would just let loose. His eyes would get wider and brighter, if that was possible, and Kurt could see the worry just melt away. His face was ever morphing between radiant smiles, flirtatious smirks, and then just plain goofy. He would move around the stage like he owned it and would let his body move to the music without any inhibitions. He would become the ultimate ladies man, having no problem sending female audience members a wink or holding there gaze for a moment. Kurt wondered if he hid behind that. When he was on stage he could be the straight guy who didn't have to be afraid of flirting. His life could be easy and _normal._ The thought didn't really bother Kurt though. Blaine was happy with who he was and was happy to share that with Kurt. Kurt understood that sometimes everybody, especially Blaine, needed an escape and if performing was Blaine's way of letting go then that was perfectly fine with him.

The two of them had wandered through the Six Flags grounds aimlessly throughout the day just enjoying their time together. It wasn't Kurt's ideal hang out. It was crowded, noisy, hot, and the bathrooms were horrible but he had fun. Blaine had dragged him on one of the old wooden roller coasters where the seat is just a bench seat and the safety bar only seems fit for the Ferris Wheel. They came out with a good picture though. Blaine had one arm up in the air, screaming, and smiling while his other arm was wrapped around Kurt, who had his face buried in Blaine's shoulder. Kurt had said that he hated the ride and the picture but he secretly loved both, well as long as he got to ride with Blaine. He was almost caught with a grin on his face when Blaine bought the picture before he quickly reworked it into the scowl. Blaine had just chuckled and grabbed his hand as they continued wonder, stopping at whatever peaked their interest.

The day had been great up until Blaine's last performance. Kurt had taken his usual seat on the bench on the outskirts of the crowd so he could sit, for one, but also so he could admire the way his boyfriend captivated the audience. He was truly amazing. Kurt got lost in his voice once again, the rich, powerful, manly sound that filled the night air. It was heavenly. Blaine was the angel. After the show Blaine had made his way to Kurt and just as Kurt stood up to praise him some else stepped in his way.

"_Well, look what we have here. The fag lives. I thought you might have done the world a favour and jumped off a bridge or something. Apparently you just ran away. I'm not surprised though, being a coward is a trait of fags. Shame, the world would be a lot better without you."_

Blaine had froze with a petrified look on his face. There was recognition in his eyes but not that of a pleasant kind. It was more as if all the life in them had left and the colour had drained from his cheeks, his lip was quivering, and Kurt could tell he was fighting back tears. Looking back, Kurt couldn't even really remember doing it. It was like he was just watching someone else walk over to the six-something wearing a buckeye baseball hat and shove him hard in the chest telling him to just leave Blaine alone.

"_Oh so is this your new twink then Q? Although wait, he's the one defending your honour so I guess that makes you the twink. You've stooped to a new low there Q, I mean this fag practically screams 'I take it up the ass.' I guess I beat you into submission pretty well then hun?_"

By this time a security guard had picked up on what was happening and dragged the guy and his baseball hat off. Blaine was visibly shaking now, tears streaming down his face, still unblinkingly frozen. Kurt was a momentarily taken aback at seeing Blaine so helpless and scared. Usually it was him that needed the comforting. Blaine was the strong one. It shattered Kurt to see his boyfriend so traumatized; it was something he never wanted to see again. He needed to make it better. Fix Blaine the way Blaine had fixed him before.

Kurt had put his arm around Blaine's waist and led him to the nearest bathroom where he lock the door and let Blaine cry into his shoulder. He whispered soothing phrases into his ear and stroked his back. He noticed that Blaine flinched when he touched his hair and made a mental note of inquiring about that later. They held that stance for a while before Blaine lifted his head and looked down at his feet in shame. Kurt had gently placed his hands on his boyfriends cheeks, lifting his head so he could peer into those beautiful golden, brown eyes that were now red rimmed to make sure that his soul had not been torn apart.

"_Do you want to talk about it?"_

Blaine shook his head and Kurt decided that he would leave it for now. He wiped away a few remaining tears with his thumbs and leaned in to kiss Blaine gently, trying to convey how much he loved him and how he would always be there and how there was no shame in needing comforting. Kurt pulled away and rested his forehead against Blaine's, sliding his hand from his boyfriends face, down his arms, and into his hands.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Thank-you."

Kurt gave Blaine a quick peck before leading his boyfriend out of the bathroom and towards the hot chocolate stand. They both needed a pick-me-up. The smile returned to Blaine's lips as they both tried and failed miserably to gracefully manoeuvre around the generous helping of whipping cream on top of their drinks.

As Kurt admired the return of dapper, confident, intelligent, goofy Blaine in the reflection of his window he wondered how often something in the past had torn that away and how often it would happen in the future. Blaine wasn't as emotional as Kurt was but there were obviously times where something or someone got to him. That was ok though. Kurt would be there for him. It was easy to fall into the trap of placing every couple into the stereotypical male and female gender roles of today's society. Kurt caught himself doing it often, honestly it was hard not to. That was the mould that had been used for centuries and even though it was easy for Kurt to physically live outside this mould, mentally casting a new one proved difficult. Kurt, reluctantly, cast himself in the more female role and Blaine as more of the male. Blaine held the doors, drove the car, planned the dates, and he usually paid for them too. Sometimes Kurt felt guilty but Blaine seemed to like pampering him. It was nice to know though, not that anything about that nights ordeal had been nice, that he could be the _man_ too. That he could step in, take control, and make Blaine forget about the pain, take it away. It was nice to know that Blaine needed him and that he could be what Blaine needed, _was_ what he needed. Kurt didn't need to place himself in the masculine or feminine roles, he fit in his own role, which fit perfectly next to Blaine's.

**A/N: so when i was writing this i thought it was evident but my friend read it and she didn't pick up on it so i thought i would just clear it up. The idiot that was taunting Blaine is someone from his past. I figure he's one of the guys from the Sadie Hawkins dance. I have Blaine's demons all worked out in my head and my plan is to slowly reveal them. **

**Thank-you for all the reviews and favourites i've been getting. it feels really good to know that people like my work **


	4. Chapter 4  Finn's Birthday

It was currently four twenty six in the morning and Kurt had yet to fall asleep. They sky was starting to brighten but you couldn't say that it was light out yet or that the sun was rising. It was still dark, just not as dark. The six boys around him had slowly drifted off somewhere within the last hour, thoroughly exhausted from the combination of all the energy they had thrown into video games, the atrociously late hour, and the enormous sugar crash. Kurt's body seemed to be playing tricks on him. He was so tired; his sleepiness worsened by the knowledge of needing to get up in five hours to go help his dad in the shop but his mind refused to leave him be.

When Kurt had first heard what was being planned for Finn's seventeenth birthday he was a little nervous. It was simple enough; Finn was inviting all of the guys from New Directions over for a sleepover complete with pizza, pop, chips, video games, and just being immature, teenage boys in general. It wasn't that Kurt didn't like the guys; he got along fine with all of them and ever since transferring back to McKinley they had seemed to be genuinely friendlier and much more willing to include Kurt in their _male bonding_. Kurt had just never gotten the hang of guy time. He usually had no idea what they were talking about and even when he did he had little interest. He would usually sit quietly in the corner observing, coming up with witty responses to add in but rarely did on the account that no one ever got them. He had become the ultimate receiver of the blank stare, the one that spoke various forms of: _what?, ummmm ok?, why are you interrupting me?, why are you even still here?._ So Kurt had come up with a plan to make this night fun for him without spoiling his brother's birthday.

"_Hey Finn, I have a proposal for you."_

"_Ummm Kurt, that's really flattering and all but now that we are officially brothers, I don't think we could get married even if we went to New York." _

"_What? No, I mean I have a question to ask you. Can Blaine come to your party too? I know you guys aren't really friends but you get along well and so do the other guys and I'm sure he would want to come."_ Kurt chewed his lip nervously hoping Finn would just say yes without prying.

"_Yeah, sure dude."_

Blaine had come over earlier that day to help Kurt bake Finn's cake. Kurt didn't really need his boyfriends help but he would jump at any opportunity to spend time together, especially baking. Kurt loved baking. He baked when he was bored, when he was stressed, when he was excited, when he was sad. It was something that he and his mother used to do together and it always brought back happy memories. Kurt thought that by keeping their baking tradition alive, she would never really leave. The first time Kurt had invited Blaine over to help him bake was a special moment for him because it was like he was introducing Blaine to his mother. Blaine passed with flying colours despite the bit of flying flour. They made Finn a simple chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Finn was never one to request anything fancy. Kurt was kind of glad that he didn't have to make anything too difficult for his brother because not only would it go under appreciated by him and his friends but it also allowed Kurt to focus more on having fun with Blaine. They had turned on the music and had spent the next hour or so dancing around the kitchen to Kurt's 'baking' playlist while measuring and pouring and mixing various ingredients. Usually Kurt liked the loud, powerful tunes of Broadway or Lady Gaga but when he was baking it was different. Baking was sacred to him and in turn required music that was more peaceful. The kitchen was warm and filled with the smell of chocolate. It was just cozy and fun and comfortable. Blaine had gotten a little caught up in the fun and had swayed up behind Kurt, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and chest and leaning his head on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt's breath hitched and his hand paused, readjusting his grip on the whisk before continuing to stir. Blaine had never got that close before and although it sent a shiver down Kurt's spine and he blushed furiously but he couldn't say he didn't like it. After catching his breath, he had even tentatively leaned back into his boyfriend. Kurt was surprised at how much he enjoyed Blaine's embrace. They had always been so chaste with each other and Kurt had never had the desire to move things further but feeling his boyfriend's chest pressed into his back and Blaine's breath tickle his neck made Kurt want to rethink this. He wasn't completely relaxed in Blaine's arms; he had always been a little self conscious but mainly it was the fact that it was new and he didn't really believe it was happening. Kurt felt that this was something older people did, something his friends did, not him. Still though, Kurt enjoyed it while it lasted and was a little saddened when Blaine pulled away at the sound of the timer to check on the cake.

As the boys arrived they took over the family room and the Call of Duty tournament began. The comfortable, calm atmosphere from earlier quickly disappeared and was replaced with a rambunctious, rowdy one. The peaceful sounds were replaced by the unfortunately familiar sounds of a war torn country and an hour and a half later Sam came out the ultimate victor. Kurt vacated the arm chair in the corner for the spot between Puck and Blaine on the couch, right in the middle of the action. As soon as he sat down he scooted closer to his boyfriend so that their shoulders touched. The conversation was that of a typical group of teenage boys but with Blaine there, there was someone who got, appreciated, encouraged Kurt's jokes and quips as well as to role eyes with when the boys became too enthralled with girls. It was fun and Kurt found himself truly included in everything instead of on the side lines. Eventually unleashing the wrath of the American army on desolate, hostile cities overseas grew weary and Call of Duty was switched out for Mario Cart. Kurt had gotten very excited at this because here was a game he could actually play. After insisting he get to be Yoshi, Kurt proceeded to put Blaine and the rest of the boys to shame. Puck, who was the undefeated champion of Mario Cart insisted on a rematch and Kurt had wasted no time going head to head with the bad boy, jock. With his boyfriend and brother cheering him on, Kurt had no problem standing tall next to Puck and shoving him back when his competitor tried to distract him and standing his ground when Puck started the friendly, trash talking.

"Oh fuck off Hummel; you know you can't beat me. You'll choke on the last turn just watch. "

"Now Noah, I think you will be the one to choke because the embarrassment of being beaten at a video game by a gay, choir boy is just going to eat at what remaining soul you have."

"That's my man, yeah Kurt."

Kurt giggled at his boyfriends encouragements and wiggled his hips in said boy's direction but just as he rounded the last bend, Puck shoved him and with that Wario blazed by Yoshi to take first place.

"Take that gay boy."

"I think it says a lot that you had to shove me in order to win. I totally had that and you knew it Noah. Best two outta three?"

"Bring it Hummel."

Kurt won the next round fair and square and felt absolutely elated because of that but also because he was finally succeeding at just being one of the boys. Watching Blaine being able to hang so easily with boys had always made Kurt a little jealous. Kurt was comfortable with who he was but sometimes he wished he could be more like Blaine. It was one thing to be gay but it was another thing to feel completely isolated from your own kind. It just enhanced that devastating feeling that there was something _wrong_ with him. Having Blaine there with him had provided a sort of bridge between himself and the other guys and although being closer to the guys wasn't the most important thing in Kurt's life it was something that definitely made him happier and more confident. He had Blaine to thank for that.

The rest of the night had progressed much the same and around three o-clock the boys started to crash. While the rest of them just pulled their jeans and shirts off, content to sleep it their boxers and wife beaters, Kurt and Blaine had both gone to change into sweets and old t-shirts to sleep in. Usually he slept in proper silk pyjamas but this was guy's night so Kurt decided to treat it like a costume party and dress up, or down in this case. He had been glad that Blaine wasn't as brazen as the others. Even though they were slowly making progress, take that morning for example, seeing Blaine in his boxers was still a step beyond Kurt's boundaries. When Kurt had returned Finn had put Transformers on and the boys had all spread out on the floor, visibly tired. Finn had offered Kurt the couch but Kurt reclined claiming that the birthday boy should get it. The blush that crept up his cheeks and the way he was twiddling his thumbs would suggest that he had an alternative motive behind the gesture besides just being nice. This time he was hiding something from his brother. Kurt didn't know when he would get the chance to have a sleep over with Blaine again and he didn't want to waist the opportunity. The shy smile that seemed glued to his face when he was around Blaine appeared as he had laid down beside his boyfriend. If they had been alone, this might have been too much for Kurt, maybe it was too much now considering he couldn't fall asleep, but with the room full of his friends he felt safer. That was something Kurt found hard to explain because it wasn't as if he was actually scared that Blaine would jump him. Blaine would never do that. It wasn't him. Maybe it was because Kurt felt that it was too serious of a gesture to be sleeping next to his boyfriend but he could justify it if the two of them were not alone in the room. None of the others batted an eye at the positioning of the smitten couple, if anyone had seemed surprised by it, it was Blaine but he turned to face Kurt, grabbing his hand and returning Kurt's shy smile.

"Goodnight Kurt."

"Goodnight Blaine."

Sleeping next to Blaine, or trying to, was harder than Kurt thought it would be. He didn't want to close his eyes because he was mesmerised by the rise and fall of Blaine's chest and the flutter of his gorgeous, dark, long, thick eyelashes. He found himself staring at Blaine's full, pink lips that were slightly parted with the faint hint of smile. Blaine was nothing less than beautiful. When Kurt did manage to force his eyelids closed the wondrous feeling of Blaine's heavy breaths ghosting over his neck consumed him. It made him think back to that morning when Blaine had stood behind him and just held him close for what was the best ten minutes of his life. It made Kurt wonder what it would feel like if Blaine was holding him like that now. Kurt would become lost in those thoughts when Blaine would shift and his eyes would spring open wide and he would be caught up again in the beauty that was his boyfriend while he slept. Kurt soon came to the conclusion that he would not be falling asleep tonight and that this was the first time he was sacrificing his well being and his performance at work the next day for his boyfriend. This was something he was kind of ashamed to admit because he never wanted his love for another person to slow him down. That was something for insecure people who didn't have goals of their own. He would let himself slide this time though because he had put that faint smile on Blaine's face as he fell asleep and that made Kurt forget about everything else. At that moment the fact that they were laying on the family room floor, surrounded by icky, obnoxious boys, and that in a few hours this magical scene would end and Kurt would feel horrible from lack of sleep ceased to matter in Kurt's mind. All that mattered was Blaine and that was more than fine with Kurt.


	5. Chapter 5  Blaine's Tale

It was one of those hot, sticky, sweltering days that frequently graced the Ohio summer. Blaine had arrived bright and early to the Hummel house, as was his way, baring his award winning grin, the newest issue of vogue and coffee for himself and Kurt. Kurt's cup had a little note written on it that he had become accustomed to seeing when boyfriend bought him the heavenly drink. _'For my missing puzzle piece'_ it read. The message always changed but the sentiment stayed constant. Kurt laughed a little at this one remembering the first time he had heard Blaine say those words, well sing them really. You couldn't call it love at that point but there was something about the handsome, lead singer that captured Kurt's heart. Maybe it was the simple fact the he existed. Whatever it was though, it made the imprint of that day a permanent fixture at the forefront of Kurt's mind. The house was quiet; Burt and Carol and gone to work and Finn was still asleep. Kurt and Blaine made their way to Kurt's room and sat down on the floor. Kurt leaned against the side of his bed with his legs out stretched so that if he pointed his toes they would touch the wall. Blaine sat opposite him with his back against the wall. They quickly dove into their magazines and soon entered a deep discussion about the various outfits and whatnot. They would disagree a lot; Kurt liked the very eccentric, loud clothes where as Blaine preferred the simpler pieces. It was ok though. Both had become accustomed to the others taste. Kurt thought it was funny how they would both swear that the other looked amazing in their own clothes but neither would be caught dead in the others wardrobe. Blaine was too clean cut and preppy, while Kurt was too bright and complicated. It wasn't until they had been sitting there for over an hour that Kurt noticed something strange. There was a price sticker on Blaine's magazine. That meant that Blaine had gone to a store and bought it instead of having a subscription to it. This wouldn't have been anything except for the fact that Blaine had a stack of them somewhere in his room that contained every issue since 2008. That must have cost a fortune.

"_Did you just go out and buy your copy?"_

"_Oh, uh, yeah, I picked it up when I stopped to get the coffee." _

"_Do buy them every month?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Why? You would save a lot of money and it is much more convenient to just have a subscription."_

"_Well, you know, it's not as if my father would be thrilled to have a fashion magazine dropped off at the gate for his teenage son and, I don't know, I kind of like going out to buy it. It's like a little ritual of mine."_

"_I actually don't know Blaine. You never talk about your family. I would love to hear about them, you know everything about mine." _

There was truth to his words; Kurt didn't really know anything about the Anderson's. He had never even met them. Kurt had practically told Blaine his life story the first week they met and yet Blaine kept quiet about his story. Kurt had picked up on bits and pieces here and there. His parents were distant and Blaine's dorm room at Dalton had been more of a home to him. Most of the guys that lived close were either day students or at least went home on the weekends but Blaine stayed at school whenever he could. Blaine would tell Kurt just enough to make him understand without allowing Kurt to see the whole picture. Blaine's explanations were always vague and to the point. Kurt recognized that wall that his boyfriend was putting up because he had a very similar one that only Blaine had been allowed into fully. Kurt felt it was time for Blaine to let him in too. Kurt had heard the change in Blaine's voice when he mentioned his father. Although the words had been strung together in a light hearted way, there was no missing the sadness in the breath that surrounded them.

Blaine looked up at Kurt and Kurt could detect a hint of guilt, shame, and quite possibly fear in his boyfriends eyes. The confident boy had disappeared again. Kurt hated to see his boyfriend so uneasy, it made his heart ache. Kurt had to push though. He didn't need the whole story today but he needed to start getting Blaine to open up. Maybe if Blaine could be vulnerable with him, where he was safe, and supported, and loved it wouldn't hurt as much and then maybe he could be stronger at the times where he was in danger, opposed, detested.

"_Hey, it's ok Blaine, I just want to know. You can talk to me; I won't judge you or think any less of you. I know that you like to feel like the protector but I can be your knight too sometimes...well as long as I don't have to get on a horse."_

Kurt could see the faint grin that flashed across Blaine's face before his eyes started to water. He wasn't crying really but he definitely had to fight to keep from starting.

"_It's not horrible; I know it could have been a lot worse. It could be a lot worse. My dad didn't beat me or kick me out and he spends a fortune on my education. Although it's not as if that is putting him out in any way. He has the money to spend. Heck he has the money to throw around."_

Blaine paused a bit before continuing. Kurt could tell that he was still getting the tame version, the one that lacked all the emotion and just presented the facts. Kurt could live with that though. He was smart and could decipher what Blaine had been feeling based off the situation. It wasn't really rocket science to see that Blaine felt guilty for being upset when his story lacked the hardships that many others contained and also a little devastated by the thought that his dad wouldn't have done what Kurt's had in order for him to go to school. Kurt suspected that Dalton wasn't really for Blaine, it was for his dad.

"_Before I came out my parents and I were pretty close. They spent more time at work then maybe the average American but whenever they were home we were one big, happy family. We would have game nights and go see movies; we were probably closer than the average American family. I figured out I was gay when I was eleven. It was something that had been troubling me for years but it wasn't until then that I finally put the pieces together and figured out what that all meant. I came out to them the next year because I honestly thought that they would have no problem with it and that they could help me through it all. Well my mom just sort of stared at me but my dad got really angry. For a brief moment it looked like he was heartbroken, like someone had stolen his world and I felt guilty but then it turned to rage. He got right in my face; I could feel his breath on my neck. It was suffocating. He told me that no son of his was going to be gay and then he slapped me across the face. I could tell that he regretted it as soon as he had done it. The rage subsided a bit and the sadness returned but he didn't apologise. He just walked out of the kitchen and into the den to FIND solace in the liquor cabinet. I wouldn't call him a drunk but he did always turn to the burn of whiskey when he needed to burry something. I holed up in my room that night just waiting. Waiting for my mom to come in and tell me she loved me and that she was sorry and had just been too stunned earlier. I waited for my dad to yell or break something or break me. Nothing happened though; it was like everything went quiet and it would have been sort of peaceful, sitting on my bed, cross legged, with my teddy bear, listening to the rain except there was this overwhelming feeling of isolation. It was as if I was left alone in that cavern of a house, alone in the world."_

"_What was your teddy bear's name?"_

"_Is. What is his name? Theodore. It used to be Teddy but when I was eight I thought that he needed a more sophisticated name so Teddy magically became short for Theodore."_

"_That sounds like something you would do. Teddy just isn't up to your dapper standards."_

They both laughed a little at this and Kurt was glad to give them both a bit of a break. There were a lot of painful memories resurfacing and Kurt didn't want to bog either of them down. Now that Blaine was looking Kurt in the eye he could see that some of the fear had melted away. He was glad to know that at least his boyfriend felt safe with him. That was a good start.

"You know you're not alone, right?"

"_Yeah, I know that now. Nick and Jeff and the other guys made sure of that when I got to Dalton. My father shipped me off there when I was fourteen. He got too tired of dealing with me. Both my parents started ignoring me. All the warmth that love provided in that house was sucked away and I was left with a roof over my head, food to eat, and a place to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful everyday for that, but I needed so much more. They stripped me of that and left me bare to face the world alone. There were times when they still acknowledged the teenage boy sleeping in the bedroom down the hall but it always made me feel even worse. My mother would try to set me up with girls and my father would try having some classic male bonding in hopes of me switching back to the home team. They didn't get it, they didn't try to get it, they didn't want to get it. When the bullying started my father finally snapped. Sick of seeing his son looking weak and pathetic, sick of it wearing on him he let me transfer. You know it didn't bother him that I was hurt, it bothered him that I couldn't defend myself. I know he sent me to Dalton to ease the burden on his back but it eased mine too. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. The boys gave me my family back but I still found myself waiting. I was waiting for the love to be returned to me and then you stopped me on the stairs. I didn't know what it was then, I had gone so long without it that I didn't recognize it, but I could feel the change Kurt. I had been waiting for you, looking for you forever." _

Kurt could see the happiness return to Blaine's golden eyes as that pale, pink blush crept over his cheeks. He sat up on his heels and for the second time took Blaine's face gently in his palms, rubbing away the stray tears with his thumbs. Kurt leaned in and kissed his boyfriend chastely but lovingly and then sat back down.

"_I think you need to get some new lines, you're starting to repeat them."_

There was a slight pause before both boys broke into a fit of giggles. Kurt thought that it really wasn't funny enough to be rolling on the floor, clutching their sides but they were anyways. They both needed a good laugh. After a few minutes of release the couple returned to their original positions and continued to flip through the latest issue of Vogue. It was quite but it was a good quite. The quite was eventually broken when Finn lumbered out of bed in search of food. Kurt decided that he and Blaine would go make pancakes for the three of them while Finn went and showered. It was sort of a bribe to get Finn to shower. As Kurt stood in at the counter stirring the batter, Blaine slipped in behind him taking up a position that they had only once before. Kurt thought that maybe, just maybe Blaine was squeezing a bit tighter and that he was leaning further back. Something dawned on Kurt as Blaine clung to him like a koala and tears appeared in his eyes. How could he have been so stupid and thoughtless towards the boy that had changed his life? After that idiotic game of spin the bottle Blaine had clung to Rachel not because he wanted Rachel's love but because he wanted his parents'. If there was any inkling of hope that being gay had just been a phase for him, Blaine was going to run with it to the bank because he was so desperately overdrawn. It was never about him trying to crawl back in the closet or not being proud of who he was, it was about trying, one final time, to return home, to end the waiting. Kurt could never do it again. He would never allow himself to ignore the cries of pain, for help, support, understanding from his best friend, his boyfriend, his Blaine ever again. Blaine would never do that to him. He had always been there, perched on the snow, white horse, dressed in shining armour. He needed to be there for Blaine too.

Blaine lifted his head form Kurt's shoulder and nuzzled into his ear sending a shiver to course through his body.

"_You are my knight Kurt. Don't ever think that you're not."_


	6. Chapter 6  Pizza, Brokeback, and 90210

It was ten o'clock on a muggy, Wednesday evening in mid August. Kurt was currently sitting on the couch in the Hummel family room with Blaine's arm resting comfortably around his shoulders. Finn had joined them after the movie was over and the three of them were watching a marathon of one of those horribly over the top, unrealistic, and yet incredibly captivating teen dramas. This wasn't a show that any of them watched on a weekly basis but marathons had a way of sucking in the unsuspecting. For a while Kurt had been enjoying himself. After a full day it was nice to just relax and spend time with Blaine. Kurt didn't even mind when Finn had lumbered in and asked if he could crash or date half way through the marathon. Kurt liked being alone with Blaine but there was a small part of him that kind of liked when other people were around so that he could show his boyfriend off. Kurt especially liked doing this with Finn. The previous year Kurt had spent a good portion of his time and energy pining after the straight jock and that was a blow to his pride. He hated to think that Finn still saw him as some little kid with a schoolboy crush who hung off his every word. Kurt knew Finn didn't really think this way and he knew that parading Blaine around was not right and did not even come close to the deepness of their relationship but sometimes Kurt just couldn't resist. For some reason though, Kurt was felt sad and frustrated, and alone.

Kurt had spent the day working in his dad's car shop doing inventory and helping with the routine tire changes. Kurt had always liked working in the shop. Not that you could call its atmosphere ideal but sometimes just the change was nice. He also loved the cars. Kurt found endless beauty in the aerodynamic curves, the shine, the metallic details, and the healthy purr of the engine that roared as is was jolted to life. The idea of a motor vehicle itself appealed to Kurt too. It provided a safe haven that was entirely the owners. A place where one could lock out the world and be totally alone. The escape wasn't passive in a car though like it was in a house. The car provided safety and escape but also freedom and opportunity. While he was still in high school, Kurt could use his car as a place to hide from bullies, to collect himself after a particularly harsh encounter, a place to go with Blaine where they could just hold hands and not be threatened. After high school though his car would take him to New York where he could rid himself of torment, ignorance, and mundane studies, where he could follow his passion for fashion design and be surrounded by those who would appreciate all that he was. Kurt also found that no car was ever complete without a passenger seat, a seat in which Blaine would fit quite nicely. In Kurt's eyes, cars were truly a piece of art.

The shop always tired Kurt out though so after a quick shower he had collapsed on the family room couch and waited for Blaine. His boyfriend was coming over to with pizza and movies and the two were just going to have a quiet night. Kurt was excited for their little date night. He knew it was silly but he liked the idea of staying in and having dinner separately from his family with Blaine. It just seemed to reinforce that the two of them were a pair, an item, a separate entity together. He must have drifted off because the next thing Kurt knew was that pair of lips were softly pressing into his. He could feel a subtle scratch along, the culprit being the hint of a five o'clock shadow. Kurt inhaled into the kiss and the scent of peppermint, sawdust, and musk was easily detectable through the familiar scent of greasy pizza. Kurt had recognized the lips and the scratch and the scent immediately. It was a nice way to wake up. When Kurt had finally opened his eyes he found his boyfriend kneeling in front of the couch smiling warmly at him. There was a pizza box sitting on the coffee table and the DVD machine was all ready to go. Kurt sat up and Blaine sat down beside him, close enough so their shoulders touched, and handed him a slice of pizza and hit play. They had both seen Brokeback Mountain before but it was a good movie and a bit of a change from their typical Disney selections. The first time Kurt had watched it had been with his father and although that was really awkward he found it almost more awkward watching it with his boyfriend. All of _those_ scenes were pretty short and left a lot of the action up to the viewers' imagination but it still made Kurt squirm a little. He had obviously forgotten the intensity of the relationship and had long given up on enjoying the movie and was instead just trying to keep still and stop blushing. Kurt thought it was a little strange that everyone seemed to think that this was some great love story between the two cowboys. Honestly, Kurt found it hard to see the love in their relationship at all. All he saw was lust, hunger, desperation, depression, fear, guilt, shame.

Kurt was caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice when Blaine shifted and sheepishly placed his arm around his shoulder, pulling him a little closer. They had sat like that before but it still wasn't automatic. Kurt had come to love that slight hesitation that he could feel from Blaine just before he made any sort of intimate gesture. It brought out that boyish charm which perfectly offset his boyfriend's usual dapper confidence. It also reassured him that Blaine wanted to be close to him and yet was still cautious of pushing either of them too far. It was cute. It was Blaine. It was them. Kurt had turned to Blaine and caught his boyfriend's eye. There was a playful quality in them tonight but that didn't cast a shadow on the shy adoration, and pure love that Kurt could always find swimming amongst the golden pools. Blaine had giggled and kissed him swiftly on the nose before returning his attention to the movie but never ceasing the seemingly careless, lazy movements of his finger as it traced patterns onto Kurt's shoulder.

The ending of the movie brought silent tears to both their eyes. Despite Kurt's judgment of the cowboy's actual feelings for each other, the nature of the death hit close to home and the loss expressed by the man's lover seemed real. It was almost as if the love that they did share was clouded by the uglier nature of their relationship and only surface once tragedy struck and they no longer had to face each other. It was heartbreaking. The boys had then begun to flip through the channels to find something else to watch, something less severe. For a while, the generic teen drama had served said purpose but now, that too was wearing on Kurt. This was one of those shows that had way too many characters, all of whom looked exactly that same, and subsequently multiple side plots. One of these side plots featured the resident gay kid successfully seducing the questioning jock. Kurt was initially drawn to the two characters because their story was similar to his: gay teen in high school looking for love. At first the narrative was juicy but after a while all the sneaking around, the secrets, the quickies, the deception, began to take its toll.

Once again Kurt felt like an outcast. There was nothing there that he could relate too or even wanted to relate to. It left him bitter, thinking that the images of gay relationships being portrayed were those of a frantic, shameful need to get off. Where the characters themselves seemed to believe it was wrong, that they were less than everyone else. Their love, if you could even call it that, was restricted to secret, rough make out sessions in an upstairs hall ways. He knew it was just a television show; a dumb piece of fiction used for the sole purpose to entertain but he also knew that a lot of teens were influenced way too much by what they saw on that screen. It hurt him to think that people did not believe that two boys could interact with each other in a proud, honest, caring, respectful manner. Kurt shuttered at the thought of having to hide and having his love for Blaine being reduce to a desire in his pants. Kurt wanted more out of his relationship, out of life, out of Blaine. He wanted the fairy tale, or at the very least, the romantic comedy. Kurt didn't want the shameful tragedy. He wouldn't be the shameful tragedy. During a particularly sweet moment between one of the straight couples on the show Kurt awwwwwed and caught himself longing for what they had. Blaine planted a gentle kiss on Kurt's cheek and whispered in his ear

"_We're cuter."_

It was almost as if Blaine was comparing them to the straight couple instead of the gay couple. There was something to that, Kurt thought. Love was love and didn't need to be separated into gay and straight. They were nothing like the two boys on the show nor were they like the two men in the movie, Puck and Santana kind of owned that. Kurt was still bothered by the way the gay couple was portrayed on the show but was happier now to know that Blaine had other plans for them. Ones that included princes and castles, or at the very least, a slow motion run through the airport. _They_ would not be the shameful tragedy. They would be awwwwwwwed.

**A/N: Thankyou to those of you who have favorited this and have sent me reviews. It really means a lot :)**


	7. Chapter 7  I Wanna Hold Your Hand

The food court at the North Hills Mall was always an interesting place. There was a never ending plethora of people, noises, and smells. When Kurt went shopping with the girls, they always set aside sometime to just sit at a table with a smoothie and people watch. Kurt had favourites. He liked the little old couple who would argue over the crossword while drinking coffee. It never failed to make him laugh when the wife would send her husband back over to the condiment counter to snatch a handful of sugar packets that she then stuffed in her purse. Kurt bet that they hadn't actually bought sugar since the eighties. Kurt also enjoyed watching the never ending cycle of preteen girls who tried and failed desperately to act like they were twenty five. It amused him at how people the world could be so disconnected sometimes. Today though he only had his eyes on one person. A boy with dark brown hair, slicked back with way too much gel, who was on the shorter side but had gorgeous golden, brown, eyes framed by a set of perfectly, triangular eye brows that had captivated Kurt the moment he saw them. The boy was currently third in the line for smoothies and the group of preteen girls in front of him were most definitely trying to flirt with him. He seemed to humour them which Kurt thought was very kind as he himself would have rolled his eyes and told them to find someone their own age. Not that girls ever flirted with him; his sexuality was a little too obvious. Kurt had come to like admiring this boy from afar, relishing in the fact that he, and only he, got to call the boy his boyfriend.

**To Kurt:** _How r u doing KK? –B_

**To Blaine:** _I'm alright. just checking out some guy in the smoothie line. –K_

**To Kurt:** _Should i be worried? –B _

**To Blaine:** _No, i think ur good. He kinda reminds me of a hobbit. Not really my type. -K_

**To Kurt:** _Oh ur so sweet KK –B_

**To Blaine:** _i love u too...now, where's my smothie? –K_

Kurt smiled as Blaine made his way back with two pineapple smoothies. He didn't fail to notice that Blaine took a sip of his before passing it to him. Kurt scowled at him but Blaine just gave him a wink and a shrug. Kurt couldn't help but grin at this, not that he was actually angry in the first place. It was nice that they were comfortable enough with each other to do that sort of thing, to just play with each other. Another reason Kurt liked the food court was that it was easy to blend in. Most people were too busy eating to look around and see what their neighbours were doing. Even though they were in a sea of people, Kurt felt like he was a just another fish and not some creature on display. He didn't flinch or whip his head around when Blaine slipped their fingers together. Kurt squeezed back while his silver, blue eyes remained locked on the golden brown pair across from him. He smiled. It was nice to have Blaine's hand back in his again. Back where it belonged. Back where it would have been all morning if they had been able to blend in.

Blaine had picked Kurt up that morning to head to the mall to shop for back to school clothes. Not that either boy was excited to return to school but Kurt insisted that they get an early start on the annual shopping mayhem that always started around mid August. As usual Blaine had been at the Hummel front door right on time and had had a medium drip sitting in his cup holder and a non-fat mocha latte sitting in Kurt's. Today it had read '_For my porcelain prince'_. Kurt had grinned brightly at the endearment. All too often people placed Kurt into the princess category and even though he had a box of tiaras under his bed, Kurt didn't like the title, Kurt never was, wanted, nor would be a princess. Blaine got that. Without even discussing it, Blaine just knew. Once Blaine had ran around to the driver's side and hopped in, Kurt leaned over and gave his own prince a quick peck on the cheek. It was nice to know that they were on the same page in their fairytale story book.

The two boys had walked into the mall hand in hand with their fingers intertwined. They had broken a part quickly though as they entered the first store and started picking out clothes. Blaine had grabbed one or two things for himself while Kurt had already unloaded a stack for both him and Blaine in the dressing rooms and was back to prowl for more. They had very different taste in clothes but Kurt understood that and made sure his selections for Blaine were things that he would like. Once Kurt had sufficiently looked through the store, they headed to the change rooms. Kurt had a rule about change rooms: everything must be shown unless it was truly awful and thus began the clichéd fashion show. Both of the boys were soon giggling and strutting and posing and just having fun with each other as they worked their way through the pile. When Kurt had put on his last outfit, a baggy turquoise sweater with fitted tan pants, he walked out to find Blaine leaning up against the door frame in a fitted white V-neck and a pair of light wash skinny jeans that might have been just a little too skinny. Blaine slipped both of his hands into Kurt's and gave the boy a quick peck on the nose to pull him out of his trance. Kurt had blushed and dropped one of his boyfriend's hands motioning for him to turn. Kurt hand blushed even more as Blaine twirled, slowly under his arm and Kurt caught his own gaze travelling to his boyfriend's nicely accentuated rear. Kurt was still uncomfortable looking at Blaine's body. It just seemed a little invasive, like it wasn't his place to look. Kurt also felt that if he was looking at Blaine then Blaine could look at him and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. In some ways Kurt wanted Blaine to look and to like what he saw but on the other hand Kurt was afraid of what all that would lead to. What if Blaine didn't like Kurt's body? It was just a lot to take in. Blaine had given Kurt another quick peck on the nose and decided to get the outfit along with a few other pieces and headed back in to change. It was then that Kurt had notice the sales lady. She had turned away quickly but not before Kurt caught her staring at his and Blaine's' exchange. She didn't seem offended, it was more just shock. As the boys were paying for the clothes, Kurt notice her gaze again lingering just a little too long at their clasped hands. She didn't seem hateful but the attention did start to make Kurt uneasy.

Kurt continued to notice people's eyes on him and Blaine throughout the day. There were a few old ladies who muttered rather loudly about the disgrace that the two boys were being. Blaine just smiled warmly at them and rolled his eyes once they had past. Kurt was always amazed at how dapper and charming Blaine could be even when he was being damned to hell. While the smile on his own face had vanished and his body had tensed up, Blaine had just let it slide right off his back. Blaine was right though. Sometimes you just had to pick your battles. The eighty year old women and her hand bag posed no physical threat to their safety and although Kurt didn't think that it should count as an excuse, the women had grown up in a very different society and hopefully wouldn't be around much long to influence today's. There was no reason to get worked up.

Throughout the day though, Kurt did get worked up. Everybody seemed to stare, and gawk, and point, and do a double take at their clasped hands. As far as Kurt could tell, there was no malice coming from the onlookers, they were simply looking. It still got to him though. Nobody took notice to the straight couple that walked by with their hands in each other back pockets but the two boys holding hands seemed to grab and keep everyone's attention. It made him feel like he was on display, like he was some sort of freak being paraded around for the upper classes' entertainment, for their dinner table conversations. It made him feel like a fabled beast that had just been spotted for the first time. It made him feel stripped of himself and left with only a label that spelled out 'LIKES BOYS' across his chest. It was ok when he did that to himself amongst his friends but to have strangers do it for him without his permission was something different. There was also the fear of a hateful pair of eyes lurking somewhere amongst the others. He felt vulnerable, exposed, nervous and his palms got sweaty. He had pulled his hand out of Blaine's to hopefully end the looks and prevent his boyfriend from feeling his sweat.

"_Sorry."_

Hearing that simple, single word, Kurt swore he felt his heart shatter. He realised that Blaine must have notice the stares too, knew why he pulled away, and was now blaming himself. Kurt had looked over at his boyfriend and seen that sad smile that came with the overwhelming feeling of defeat. They both needed a break.

It was there, sitting in the busy food court, his fingers locked with Blaine's once again that he saw his boyfriend's true smile return, the one that bared his perfect, shinny teeth, the one that reached his golden, brown eyes and beyond, the one that started from deep within his sole and radiated outward and into Kurt's. It was there that Kurt realised how wrong he had been. He had caused that smile to disappear. He had been the one to let the stares get to him. He had been the one to let those people touch him, touch them. This would be something they would always have to face, something they would need to push through. They couldn't let things like this get to them because there would always be bigger, tougher, scarier things to come.

Kurt leaned forwards and carefully pressed his lips to Blaine's. He could feel Blaine's smile against him and it was a wonderful, knew feeling that he wanted more of. They lingered together a fraction longer then they had ever before and as Kurt gently pulled away he whispered a soft apology against Blaine's lips.


	8. Chapter 8  Scars From the Past

**A/N: so this one is a bit different. It's written in Blaine's perspective instead of Kurt's. A reader suggested i do it and it seemed to fit the subject of this chapter. I dug into blaine's past a bit more. I hope you enjoy it and i would love to hear your reviews.**

**Lessthanthree **

**Katie**

He was excited. He, himself, would have never believed it but he was. He took Kurt's hand and happily threaded their fingers together, giving him a quick peck on the nose. The two were currently crouched down in a bush on the west side of the Dalton grounds with the rest of the Warblers waiting for David's signal. Blaine wasn't even sure that he would come when he woke up that morning. It had all ridden on Kurt's reaction.

It happened every year. It always took place in August because it took weeks of planning, and stake outs, and all sorts of other covert operations. It was never any easy event to pull off but somehow the Warblers managed to do it every summer. It was something they all looked forward too. It was something Blaine dreaded. He had reluctantly gone once before but had come up with excuses every other year. Blaine knew that Wes knew he wasn't really going to Florida with his folks or that he had to babysit his cousin but they played the game every year. Wes would call and invite him and Blaine would act all excited but then he would find out the date and become disappointed because he had a prior commitment. Wes would be disappointed and ask if there was any way he could get out of it but Wes never pushed that much. Wes knew Blaine was just going to sit at home with his guitar or go for a run or read. Wes never knew why but he had been told by Jeff to just let it be and so he did. Blaine knew that Jeff was running interference for him but this year Jeff slipped up and didn't think to stop Wes before the council called Kurt to invite him the annual Warbler pool party, courtesy of Dalton's elite swimming pool and hoodwinked security guards. Kurt was excited and there was no way Blaine could get out of it now that his boyfriend wanted to go but he also couldn't just go. He needed to tell Kurt something, show him something, something he knew Kurt would see eventually and as much as he wanted eventually to come for other reasons, he dreaded it for this one. Blaine had hid it for so long, only Jeff and Nick knew, and that was not an easy feat when living in dorms with communal bathrooms. He didn't care so much about the guys anymore though. All that mattered now was Kurt. He had asked his boyfriend if he could come early so they could talk, reassuring him that everything was ok and that he just needed to tell him something. So Blaine had driven to the Hummel house, for the countless time that summer, with a medium drip in his cup holder and a non-fat mocha latte in Kurt's but this time he had his swim trunks on trying to find the courage within himself and hoping beyond belief that his boyfriend wouldn't be disappointed and would understand. Before getting out of the car he had taken out his trusted black sharpie and scrawled across Kurt's cup _'For my countertenor cutie'. _Admittedly not one of his best but he knew Kurt would blush and smile in that adorable way that he always did. He knew that Kurt appreciated the gesture more than the endearment itself.

It had begun as well as one would have hoped it would. Kurt had blushed and smiled and had given him a kiss and the cheek before leading him by the hand to his room. Blaine sensed Kurt's nervousness when he closed the door behind him so he had reluctantly left it open a crack. Blaine really wanted this conversation to be private but putting Kurt unnecessarily on edge was never something on Blaine's agenda. They had sat in their usual spot on the floor. Kurt leaned against the side of his bed with his legs out stretched so that if he pointed his toes they would touch the wall. Blaine sat opposite him with his back against the wall. Blaine had never been one to sit _'normally'_. He would sit on tables, or counters, the arms of couches or chairs, the floor. He rarely actually sat properly with his butt in the seat. He didn't really know why. Maybe it was a pathetic attempt to defy his oh-so-proper parents. Blaine assumed that they sat this way in Kurt's room because it wasn't very intimate. Blaine didn't know if either was prepared to sit on the bed together. Even to him that reservation seemed a little silly but that was just the way they were and he perfectly content with that.

Blaine was nervous. He didn't know where to start exactly. He didn't really want to start. He had suffered for so long to forget and move on. He twiddled his thumbs a bit and made some small talk about Finn and Burt. He didn't want to relive it because it was no longer his life but he supposed that he wasn't really living if he had to hide part of him.

"_Blaine, what did you want to talk to me about? It sounded important and I am more than happy to listen. I love you Blaine. You can trust me." _

It had taken some encouraging and reassuring but eventually had finally come. The beginning was easy enough. Kurt understood the looks, the shoves, the comments, the avoidance, the hatred. There wasn't any need for details but Daniel required and deserved the story. Blaine had befriended Daniel sometime during middle school. Blaine had been part of the popular crowd but Daniel had been sort of on the outs. An enforced seating plan in Mr. Graham's math class had introduced the two. As time went by and Blaine became more and more ostracised from the popular crowd, mainly because of his growing confusion, he grew closer and closer to Daniel. The two boys seemed to be facing the same questions and emotions. Daniel figured it out first and came out a year before Blaine did. He had simply been ignored before but now he was tormented, relentlessly. Blaine stuck by him though and for that he had to bear to brunt of the attacks as well. When Blaine came out a year later it didn't have too big of an impact because the jocks had already decided he was a fag long ago just because he hung out with Daniel. Even before Blaine had officially come out, the two of them had truly become best friends because there was literally no one else. Daniel's parents had been a lot like his. The two boys learned a lot together. They confided in each other, diving into various intimate topics that neither felt comfortable discussing with anyone else. Daniel was the first person Blaine had come out to. With Daniel it was easy. It in some ways gave him false hope that with everyone it would be easy. It wasn't easy with his parents but at least he still had Dan. It was a different sort of friendship than Blaine had initially had with Kurt. Blaine and Dan were both clueless and made discoveries together. Neither one acted as the mentor. It reminded Blaine of what he had now with Kurt, Both of them trying to navigate the new and dangerous waters.

As the two boys became closer the student body of Caribou High assumed that they were together. Well it was more assumed that they were fucking, nobody really cared if they loved each other or not. Blaine and Dan had similar builds so the student body went back and forth on who the cock slut was. They, for some reason, thought they had every right in the world to talk about the two fags in that crude way. The boys were not allowed to have any dignity at that school. Not everyone was violent but it seemed that everyone contributed to the fuel. Blaine and Dan were never together though. They had been each other's first kiss. It had been sweet, gentle, soft, and purely experimental. Blaine thought the world of his best friend but there had never been any spark. Dan would have made a wonderful boyfriend. He was cute, smart, kind, generous...Blaine felt as if he could go on forever but dating just never really crossed his mind. Neither harboured a secret crush on the other, they were simply just friends. Blaine thought that this probably had a lot to do with the fact that neither of them had wanted a boyfriend at the time. They were both just struggling to discover and except themselves and all either was really looking for was a friend.

Together they were solid. They talked each other through the torment but almost more importantly they were still able to have fun and enjoy life when they were together. Danny could make Blaine feel whole again, like a real person who mattered. The Sadie Hawkins dance changed everything. Blaine had asked Danny to go with him as a friend. They both decided that keeping a low profile was best. They wore simple, black tuxes, no ruffles, no embellishments, no boutonnieres. They stayed off to the side and only danced to the fast songs. They came late and left early hoping everyone else would be too busy dancing to notice them or care about them. They were noticed though, and people did care.

"_Kurt you know how I told you that they beat the crap out of us? Well that was kind of a euphemism. They cornered us outside. There were three of them at first but I'm pretty sure more joined. They started by just yelling at us and taunting us. We were both scared because we were outside and it was dark. When I went to grab Danny's hand they grabbed us and pulled us apart. Two of them pinned me up against a fence, the other guy started taking a baseball bat to Danny. I couldn't see him but I could hear his cries of pain. I could hear the unmistakeable sound of the wood shattering bone. I froze as when I saw the blood start to pool on the ground between us. Then it was quiet. The third guy began taking the bat to me. Eventually someone pulled out a knife. I woke up in the hospital. I had had to have surgery to stop the internal bleeding. They also had to stitch up the gash in my shoulder from the knife. Danny slipped into a coma for three of the longest, most terrifying days of my life. He's doing fine now but he didn't wake up fine. He had seizures a lot, they were pretty much daily. He couldn't talk for a bit and his motor skills were a little shaky. He got better though, he is still at risk for seizures and has a metal plate in his head but other than that he is ok. His mom seemed to come to her senses after the attack and divorced her husband and she and Danny moved to New Zealand to start fresh. I know in some ways the move was good but I miss him so much, especially then."_

"_Oh my god, Blaine, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine." _

He had tears in his eyes at this point. He felt guilty about that night, for not being able to help Danny, for being the one that got off easy. This was a point in Blaine's life that he always felt ashamed of because he had literally broken down in the after math. After fearing for his best friend's life he had watched him struggle day in and day out to regain the full functioning of his body but just as he got better he was taken away again. Blaine had watched Danny's mother come around which gave him false hope that maybe his parents would too. They instead shipped him away. He was ashamed of his body that was now just one big scar. He couldn't look at himself without breaking down, remembering how he had been treated as a worthless nail just begging to be hammered into the ground. Blaine hid his body from everyone in order to avoid the questions and explanations as well as to keep people from thinking he was weak. In his head Blaine knew that being beaten up by three guys, one of whom had a knife, didn't make him weak but sometimes his brain didn't quite connect with his emotions. It was weird that Blaine didn't want to tell anyone but the people that did know were the two Dalton boys that he was the closest too. Jeff and Nick had made him talk after hearing him cry himself to sleep several times a week and flinching at every single noise touch. He hoped Kurt would be like Jeff and Nick.

"_I don't like taking my shirt off in front of people, Kurt. I always make sure I'm on the shirts side, I always dress before coming out of the showers, I don't go swimming. I'm covered in scars from the surgery and the knife. I need to stop hiding though and I need to show you first."_

Blaine had stood up and Kurt had stood with him. He took his boyfriends hands and squeezed looking for the comfort of a return squeeze. Kurt squeezed back and Blaine took both of Kurt's hands to his mouth and kissed them gently before releasing them. He had tentatively reached for the hem of his red polo and chuckled softly as he realized that even in the summer he still wore Dalton colours. That school really was a security blanket for him. Blaine had taken one more deep breath before pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it onto the bed with shaky hands. He stood bare in front of Kurt for the first time. His broken and tortured body lay naked. Blaine had felt exposed, and vulnerable, laying his demons out for his boyfriend to see, to take or leave. He had heard a faint gasp from Kurt but he had kept his eyes glued to the floor and had only looked up when he felt his boyfriend's shy fingers begin to trace the raised, slightly paler, lines of skin that criss-crossed over his chest. He had relaxed a bit into Kurt's tentative touch. The boy had caressed his damaged body so warmly, and tenderly, and lovingly. It had felt good. Blaine had found himself suddenly nervous for a whole new reason and the shake in his hands that spread throughout his body and the blush that crept up his cheeks gave him away. Kurt noticed and pulled his hand away.

"_Sorry, I shouldn't have been so forward. You are just so beautiful, Blaine and your scars only add to that beauty."_

"_It's ok. Thank-you."_

Blaine had engulfed his boyfriend in hug that he hoped would convey his love. He knew Kurt had stepped beyond his boundaries in order to comfort him. Kurt would never have been so bold otherwise. He knew that Kurt had not known about all of his demons when he signed up for this and yet Kurt had never failed him since. Blaine loved Kurt more than anything and loved him even more for loving him back.

Crouched in some bushes, holding his best friend's, his boyfriend's, his Kurt's hand, surrounded by his adoptive family, in the grounds of his true home, he realised just how much he had been missing. Sure hiding his scars had only prevented him from attending a few pool parties but sometimes it was little things like that that made the difference between just being and living. When Blaine though back to his time with Danny, he thought of the fun times when they were just kicking the soccer ball around or playing video games. The bad times didn't really stand out too much because the good things pushed them away. He and Danny had survived for three long years because they could still find a way to have fun. By hiding, Blaine was denying himself opportunities for fun, opportunities to push the pain away. As they waited for David's signal, Blaine talked amiably with the guys while starting a game of nudging each other's shoulders with his boyfriend, relishing in the boys giggle. As long as Blaine would be able to hear that giggle, he knew he could push through anything. They could push through it together.


	9. Chapter 9  The Freak Out

Kurt was startled out of his trance by the creak of the wooden seat as Finn sat down next to him. He had been out on the front porch ever since Blaine had left just staring off into the midsummer night sky. It clear out and the stars twinkled brightly in the sea of navy blue. It reminded Kurt of his boyfriend. The stars were as bright as Blaine's eyes and the tint of the sky at that very moment matched his uniform perfectly. At the moment, thinking of Blaine made him feel nervous and guilty and he graciously accepted the mug of warm milk that Finn had brought out for him. The drink had always been something that comforted him. He and his mother used to have some every night before bed. Now it helped Kurt to keep the feeling of his mother alive. Kurt also didn't miss the fact that Finn had picked up on all this in the few months that they had been brothers and had taken it upon himself to make Kurt a glass because he could sense something was off. Even though Kurt had gotten over his crush on Finn a while ago, it was times like these where he was reminded why he fell for the jock in the first place. Finn may be goofy and clueless but he did have a kind heart.

"_You ok dude? You've been out here for a while."_

"_Yeah, I guess. I'm just thinking."_

"_About what?"_

"_Um, well, ok, this might sound weird to you because you're a guy and all but do you ever get freaked out when you're alone with Rachel or whoever?"_

The thought of being alone with Blaine had started to really eat at Kurt for the past few weeks. After the mall incident they had been spending more and more time just hanging around the Hummel house so they could avoid the stares. Since both his dad and stepmom worked and Finn had Rachel and the guys Kurt and Blaine found themselves alone in the house more and more. It had been fine at first. The two boys had gone about everything as they usually did, watching movies on the couch where Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulder, sitting on the floor in Kurt's room talking or flipping through magazines, dancing around the kitchen while they baked, or playing catch with Finn's football in the backyard. Blaine sometimes even brought his guitar over and would practise while Kurt just sat and listened. Everything was just the same as always and so Kurt had honestly never given a second thought about being alone with Blaine until his father brought it up the other night.

Burt had noticed that the boys were spending an increasing amount of time alone in the house and sat Kurt down to restate his concerns about appropriate behaviour. He also created a new rule: Blaine was not allowed in Kurt's bedroom when no one else was home. At first this had simply annoyed Kurt because he wasn't doing anything wrong or remotely close to 'inappropriate' and also because Kurt liked hanging out in his room, they had a spot on the floor that was theirs and it was at the back of the house so it was quiet and shaded by the trees in the backyard. The more Kurt thought about it though the less annoyed at his father he got and the more scared of Blaine he became. Kurt knew that he was in love with Blaine and knew that Blaine could make him melt when he pulled out the puppy dog eyes and the precious pout. Kurt knew he would have a hard time resisting and yet he also knew that he wasn't ready for anything much more then the simple kisses and friendly touches that seemed to define their relationship. He had never given any serious thought to being intimate with Blaine one day while his parents were at work but now that his father brought it up, Kurt was worried that maybe Blaine had. Maybe Blaine wanted more than what Kurt was willing to give at the moment. He had never said anything before but maybe that was because before there had never been an opportunity. They had never really spent that much time alone before. Kurt knew it was something that his peers craved, to just have the privacy, the time, the seclusion. He knew his peers wanted it so that they could they could be more intimate than the eyes of parent, or siblings, or friends, or strangers allowed. Kurt didn't think he wanted that though, not yet anyway. He still got extremely nervous and awkward if Blaine's lips lingered on his for more than three seconds. Even tonight Kurt had freaked when saying goodbye to Blaine on the porch.

Blaine had come over that afternoon baring coffee as usual. Today it had read 'For my bashful boyfriend'. As per usual Kurt blushed at the fitting endearment; he still got giddy over that one word, boyfriend. They had spent the afternoon baking cookies while Finn had had the boys over to play video games. Kurt was fine while there were people around and welcomed Blaine's arms as they slid around his body from behind as he placed the dough on baking sheets. He even swayed his hips a little bit to the music with Blaine. Blaine had stayed for dinner and the two had played footsie under the table. It was fun and Kurt liked the feeling of Blaine's foot running up and down his leg playfully. Afterwards they had played slap jack with Finn. Blaine won; he had always been good at cards and had pretty impressive reflexes. It had been a fun day and neither boy had wanted to say goodbye when it was time for Blaine to go home. The sun was just setting and there was a pink hue to the normally blue sky. Kurt had snaked his arms around Blaine's neck as Blaine wrapped his around Kurt's waist, splaying his palms against Kurt's lower back. They had held the hug for a moment that had felt both like an eternity and a millisecond to Kurt as he found himself nuzzling his cheek into the crook of his boyfriend's neck. He had felt Blaine pull away slightly and did so too, surprised a bit when Blaine didn't let go completely and instead pressed his soft, pink lips to Kurt's. Blaine held his lips to Kurt's and began to move them slightly. Kurt instinctively began to move his against Blaine's. His own lips falling naturally into the rhythm that Blaine was setting. All of a sudden the fact that they were alone on the porch hit Kurt and he became nervous. This was the first time Blaine's kiss hadn't been a chaste peck. The first time they had even come close to making out. Kurt's body tensed and he could feel himself start to sweat. His hands clasped tighter together where they were resting on the back of Blaine's neck. He was frightened and yet Kurt couldn't deny that the pressure of his boyfriends perfect, plump lips massaging his felt good. There wasn't any lust or hunger or need emanating from the kiss. It was still gentle, and soft, and tentative. It was still them. Kurt could even feel the slight shake in Blaine's fingers where they had moved to rest lightly on his waist. Kurt certainly wasn't relaxed in the moment but he was content to let it happen because under all of the insecurity and fear there was a part of him that was enjoying it, that felt like he had come alive for the first time. It wasn't until Kurt felt Blaine's tongue lightly lick along his own lips did Kurt pull away. There was a faint shriek and Kurt turned his head to the side. Blaine whispered an apology in his ear and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Kurt was scared but he didn't know why. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. Blaine had stopped the exact second he had wanted him to. Blaine hadn't really done anything wrong. They hadn't really set up definite boundaries so Blaine was just doing what he thought Kurt might like. When the boundary became known he had respected it. Blaine had continued to hold Kurt until Kurt got over the initial shock and turned to look at him again. Kurt could see the devastation in his boyfriend's eyes when he saw Kurt's tears.

"_Oh Kurt, shush, shush, don't cry. I didn't mean to push, I thought maybe we might be ready for more but I should have asked first. I'm sorry. Please don't think that I'm unhappy with where we are because I really, truly am. I just thought that we might be happy with a bit more too. I'm so sorry."_

"_I know. It's ok. I don't really know why I freaked out. I've actually thought about you doing that before. I just got scared I guess."_

"_Scared of what?"_

"_Umm, I don't really know. I just don't think I'm ready."_

Kurt knew that he wasn't telling Blaine the whole truth. He knew that he should have told Blaine that he was scared of him but he couldn't. Blaine had to be home at a certain time and Kurt knew that Blaine wouldn't leave unless they talked it out. Kurt knew that the truth would break Blaine's heart and he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He could tell Blaine was suspicious of his answer. There was a pause where Blaine was just looking at him, looking for more but eventually he decided to leave it. He leaned in and gave Kurt a quick peck on the nose and gently brushed the remaining tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too." _

"_Well no, but I kinda let Rachel set the pace. Well actually she kinda demands to set the pace. She's kinda a controlist."_

"_Controlling, controlist isn't a word"_

"_Oh, right. Umm, are you scared of Blaine?"_

"_I wasn't until dad sat me down the other day and got all concerned about us being alone together but now it's really freaking me out." _

"_Oh, well that's just Burt being a good dad and being overprotective. I mean I know you don't like it but we all sorta look out for you and get like that sometimes. Well all trust Blaine though, even Burt. Deep down he knows you're safe with Blaine it's just hard for him to let someone else be the one taking care of you. He's just trying to be a good dad."_

"_So you don't think I should be scared around Blaine?"_

"_No, definitely not. Blaine's a good guy and I mean I know you guys go slow and I know it's none of my business but you guys have been going slow for months and if he hasn't done anything by now then he's ok with it and isn't going to do anything. We all see the way he looks at you dude. There is something almost magical there. I'm not even sure I see it when Rachel looks at me; mostly I just see her being annoyed at me. He loves you; he's not just looking for a hook up. There is no way that that boy would ever hurt you. If you want though, I can hang around the house when he's over or whatever."_

Kurt hadn't given his brother a hug in a while but he definitely deserved on right now. He put his arm around his brother's neck and felt Finn's arms press lightly around his waist. He was right and it was something that Kurt had known all along he just needed reassurance. Blaine _was_ the most incredible boyfriend ever and he would never try to push Kurt or hurt him in any way. Kurt thought back to the kiss earlier, how Blaine's hands had trembled slightly. They weren't strong and sure and confident. They were shy and uneasy and he realised that Blaine was just as nervous as he was about advancing their physicality in their relationship. They were still on the same page of their fairytale story book. There was still trust, and understanding, and love. They were still them.

"_Thank-you Finn." _

**_A/N: i hope everyone enjoyed this. i would love to hear what you thought :)_**


	10. Chapter 10  Back to Normal

**A/N: hi everyone so i got a review saying that Kurt was too prudish. I do know what this person means and my explanation for the fact the original song kiss was way more heated than anything i've ever written them to do is simply that they were caught up in the moment. I have my reasons for keeping them as innocent as i do. I've thought about trying to explain it in one of the chapters but i haven't figured out a way to do that yet b/c i'm not sure either boy would come to that conclusion about themselves. Anyways i added a little more spice to their relationship in this one but not a whole lot so it actually probably won't satisfy said review but i liked it and i hope that you guys will too. Let me know what you think  
>thanks again<br>katie **

The last time Kurt had sat on the swing on the front porch and just thought hadn't been the happiest moment for him. The porch swing had always been a place for Kurt to go when he was sad. He remembered the time after his mom got sick when he would take his stuffed lion out to the porch and fall asleep on the swing when the pain of watching his mother suffer became too much. He remembered when he and his dad got back from the funeral that they didn't even go in the house; they just took off their jackets and sat down on the swing for hours. He remembered sitting on the swing when he got home from their coffee shop that day that he had told Blaine his true feelings and the sentiment was not returned. It always did seem a little odd to him because the swing was visible from the road; it wasn't private. Maybe that's why he liked it though. He couldn't break down and feel sorry for himself. He had to stay strong and keep pushing because the world was watching his every move. It provided an element of escape from his family and friends but not from the reality of life.

Not many people knew about Kurt's relationship with the porch swing. He never actually told anyone; the ones that did know had just observed his behaviour and come to the conclusion on their own. Burt had figured it out when Kurt was nine and had seen him lie down on the swing with his Harry Potter books on the anniversary of his wife's death and then what would have been her thirty second birthday. Finn had figured it out when he had brought a mug of warm milk out to his brother the other night and had needed to provide Kurt reassurance that Blaine truly was an amazing guy. Blaine himself had yet to discover the role of the porch swing in Kurt's life and so when Blaine led Kurt towards the wooden seat instead of the front door of the Hummel house after their date that night, the meaning of the swing changed in Kurt's life for good.

When Kurt thought about his life nothing about it seemed traditional. His mother had now been dead for over half his life. He didn't believe in god and hated religion as a whole. He was gay. His redneck father actually accepted the fact that he was gay. He had spent the good portion of a year pining after what would become his step brother. He was dating, and madly in love with another boy. Yet, when Kurt thought about his relationship with Blaine, besides the fact that they were both male, they did have a very old fashioned, traditional rapport. They were sweet and innocent and chaste. They were definitely involved in a courtship and not just a full on mixture of passion, and desire, and want, and hormones. As much as Kurt hated the traditional, he loved what he had with Blaine and as much as he hated to admit it, Kurt still liked those good, old fashioned, cliché, movie dates.

Blaine had picked him up after the Hummel, traditional Friday night dinner. There was no coffee waiting for him this time because even though both boys loved the warm drink, neither could sleep if they had it after four o'clock. Blaine had waited in the living room, chatting with Burt while Kurt put the finishing touches on his outfit, black, skinny jeans with a teal, short sleeved, button up, a white tie with black polka dots, and a grey cardigan. Blaine had kissed him on the cheek in greeting and walked with him hand-in-hand to his car where he open Kurt's door and helped him in. Blaine really was a true southern gentleman, except for the fact that he was gay and didn't have the accent. When they got to the theatre, Kurt paid for the tickets while Blaine paid for the one large coke (not pepsi, both boys hated pepsi) and one bag of M&Ms. Blaine always offered to pay and would put up a bit of a protest when Kurt refused and at least insisted on paying half. Kurt liked feeling like he could be the man too; he didn't always need to be the damsel in distress, although he did like doting. Traditional dates were fine as long as he could infuse a little new age thinking into them here and there.

It had started out the way they always start. The boys grabbed the centre seats in the very back and quickly dug into their snacks. During the previews Kurt took to tossing the M&Ms at his boyfriend for him to catch in his mouth. Blaine wasn't all that good at this and most of them ended up on the ground or in his lap but he did get a few. Eventually Kurt just started throwing them at Blaine and Blaine quickly dug around his seat to find the ones he had missed earlier to throw back at his boyfriend. The giggles and shrieks that soon came from the young, smitten couple attracted the attention of some other patrons who had no problem casting them both annoyed glances. They both settled down by the time the movie started and under the cover of the darkness, Kurt took hold of Blaine's arm and lifted it over his own head and rested it on his opposite shoulder, leaning into his side. Kurt could tell that his boyfriend had been a little surprised by his action and couldn't help the slight smirk that appeared on his face. They sat like that for most of the movie but towards the end Blaine decided to get a little closer. Kurt felt as Blaine nuzzled his cheek into Kurt's hair before sliding down to kiss his cheek. It wasn't a quick peck though; Blaine didn't pull away and instead began to pepper Kurt's cheek and jaw line. Kurt could feel the slight scratch of his boyfriend's five o'clock shadow and blushed when he realised how much he liked rough feel against his own smooth skin. He knew it was silly but it made Kurt look at Blaine as more of a man and less of a boy and that made him a little giddy. Kurt let out a giggle as he tried to turn into Blaine's kiss to capture his boyfriend's wandering lips in his own but Blaine refused to meet Kurt's. Kurt followed his Blaine's plump, pink lips as they made their way down his nose and across his chin and around his other cheek. He giggled more at Blaine's playfulness which greatly contrasted the illusion of maturity that his stubble created.

"_Mmm, you're so cute."_

"_Blaine, kiss me."_

"_What's the magic word?"_

"_Alohamora?"_

"_Nope."_

"_Jelly legs jinx?"_

"_Nope." _

"_Lumos?"_

"_Keep going."_

"_Accio?"_

They both giggled and smiled into the kiss as Blaine finally connected their lips. Kurt made to pull away a few times but Blaine held him there. Kurt didn't know what had come over him but something definitely changed. There was still a blush on his cheeks, thankfully hidden by the darkness, his palms were still a little sweaty, his heart was still beating a mile a minute but this time as Blaine continued to massage Kurt's lips with his, all Kurt could think about was how good it felt. He wasn't thinking about how it was knew, or fast, or heated. He didn't feel nervous or uncomfortable in the least. He was excited. Kurt moved one of his hands to cup Blaine's cheek, brushing his thumb lightly over his boyfriend's faint stubble and realising that now, he never wanted him to pull away. He barely registered that the hand Blaine had had on his shoulder was gone until he felt his slightly calloused, musician fingers begin to twin themselves into the hair at the nape of his neck. It was then that he felt something else too, something that he had thought about happening so many times before, something that had terrified him so much the other night when it had finally happened for the first time, something that at this moment felt absolutely amazing. The soft, warm, wet stroke of Blaine's tongue along his lips sent a shiver down Kurt's spine in one of the best ways possible. It startled him that this very action had brought him to tears not too long ago and yet now that he felt safe and at home within his boyfriend's arms again, it felt almost magical. As he felt Blaine pull back and looked into his eyes he saw that look that Finn had mentioned. The one he himself saw when Blaine had first kissed him that day in the Dalton commons. The one he saw almost two months ago now at their coffee shop that afternoon. The one he saw that day in the park with their friends. The one he saw when he laid down to sleep beside Blaine for the first time. The one he saw when Blaine had woke him up from a nap that evening with a kiss. The one that made Blaine's honey eyes shine with pure adoration, selflessness, and wonder, with true love. Finn was right; it was magic.

Blaine leaned down to rub their noses together before both boys returned to the movie. It wasn't long before it ended and they walked back to the car hand in hand. They didn't talk the whole way home. They both just revelled in the memory of what just happened and being able to just be with one another, alone, in the car for the ten minute drive back to the Hummel house.

Blaine pulled Kurt to sit back on the swing beside him and wasted no time putting his arm around Kurt's shoulder. Kurt leaned into his boyfriend and looking up into the golden eyes looking lovingly back into his he whispered against his boyfriends lips.

"_Hi."_

"_Hey."_

There was a pause in which the two boys just seemed to be consumed by the magic. Blaine gently pushed back with his feet and the swing began to rock back and forth.

"_Are you ok with what happened tonight? I know that I said I would ask before I tried something knew again and I didn't. I got a little caught up. I'm sorry"_

"_Don't be. I am more than ok with it. I was feeling really weird about us the other night but it's all better now."_

"_Oh. You know you can talk to me about stuff like that right? You can talk to me about anything."_

"_Yeah I know. I sorted it all out though."_

"_Well I'm glad because it felt really good to kiss you like that."_

"_It felt really good for me too."_

That shy smile that both boys reserved for moments like these spread across each of their faces and they tentatively dove into round two. They sat out on the swing, tangled in each other for another five minutes before the flicker of the front porch light caught their attention and they pulled apart, both blushing heavily. Blaine walked Kurt over to the door and kissed him on the cheek and whispering goodnight in his ear and heading back to his car. Kurt turned to look back at the swing as he walked through the front door and grinned broadly as he realised that he and just had the clichéd make-out-on-the-front-porch-after-the-date-until-overprotective-dad-interupts as well as the make-out-in-the-back-of-a-movie-theater-instead-of-actually-watching-the-movie moments. This was one of the few times that Kurt felt just like every other teenager in the world and although that was never the end goal, it was nice to feel normal for a change. Blaine made him feel normal.


	11. Chapter 11 Of Life and Sam

**A/N: hi everyone so I'd just like to start by apologizing for slowing down on the updating front. I just got a job and it's been harder to find the time to write. Having a good idea always helps so feel free to send me suggestions. This chapter is a little different. I didn't format it the same and there is a lot of Sam (no Kum though, I promise. I don't like it when straight characters are turned gay but whatever). I hope you like it, let me know  
>lessthanthree<br>Katie  
>P.S. to the person who sent me the anonymous review saying the Kurt is too prudish, I was not offended at all. I was actually kinda happy to have something to write too. I'm really happy about how ch10 turned out and I'm not sure I would have written the kiss if it weren't for your comment so thank-you <strong>

It's always weird saying goodbye to people. There is this immediate sense of loss and sadness and yet within a few weeks it can be almost as if you had never met. You can say that you'll stay in touch and that you'll get together in a few years but that never works. Eventually the e-mails will stop and the person's face will slip from your mind and someone you used to see and talk to everyday, someone you considered a good friend will become nothing more than a hazy name from your past. It's weird because you both know that this is how it works, that this is what will inevitably happen, and yet you will both play along convincingly, if only in order to ease that immediate sense of loss and sadness.

Tidying up the family room with Finn, Rachel, Mercedes, and Blaine, Kurt knew that within time he would fade from all of their memories. The bright, blonde hair would grow dimmer, the trouty lips would deflate, the deep, blue eyes would become shallower, the sounds of Navi would grow quiet, the impressions of dubious former presidents would cease to cause uproars of laughter, and the image of the good old country boy and his guitar would fade with the passing of each day in the overbearing Ohio, summer sun. Sam would be forgotten.

Kurt knew that is was silly to get upset about Sam. They had never really been that close. Sam was just another one of the guys and he seemed to fit in with them immediately. Kurt had always felt on the outs with the guys and after he realized that he was on his way to creating _'Finn number two'_ out of the new kid, Kurt had decided that it would be best if he just gave the boy some space. The lack of a true bond never stopped Sam from standing up for Kurt. Sam was just one of those kids with a big heart and although Kurt vowed that he would never forget that, he knew that it would shrink away over time just like everything else about Sam would.

Kurt looked over at Mercedes and his heart slightly broke for her. Sam would always mean more to Mercedes than Mercedes meant to Sam and not because Sam was just playing her or just wasn't that into her but because Sam was really Mercedes first boyfriend. They were kind of perfect together. Mercedes was loud and sassy and Sam was calm and collected. Not that Mercedes had horrible self esteem issues but Sam certainly did help build her up with that kind, and thoughtful heart of his. Kurt knew that they hadn't crossed the love line yet but that didn't mean that they didn't care for each other. He knew that this would be hard for her. It would be harder on her than anyone else and yet Kurt knew that over time her memory of Sam would fade too.

Deep in thought, Kurt could vaguely make out the sounds of his brother and his boyfriend laughing with each other. It always warmed his heart to know that the two of them got along so well. It was one of the many things that made it easy to see a future with Blaine. These things were always welcomed in Kurt's mind because there were always a few other things that made Kurt apprehensive about their future.

They were young and still had a lot of growing up to do as individuals. They would be attending different high schools for their senior year which would make it hard to spend time together. Blaine's parents were always somewhat of a wild card. Blaine had yet to tell them about Kurt and although Kurt agreed that that was probably best, it still worried him. Despite the promise that the two boys made to each other before nationals there was always the possibility of them not ending up in New York together.

That was it though, there were always possibilities. There were an endless, unlimited, infinite, amount of paths either of their lives could take. Not everything can be planned to T. Kurt's mother had not planned on getting cancer and leaving her husband and son. Danny had not planned t be attacked, resulting in his mother wanting to relocate and leaving Blaine all alone. Sam's father had not planned on getting laid off. The Evans' hadn't planned on having to live in a motel. They hadn't planned on having to move back to Tennessee in order to live with family until they got back on their feet. Sam hadn't planned on hurting Mercedes in the process. It was just how life played out and no matter how good two people were for each other or how amazing their lives could have been or even how much they need one another, life could step in at any time and force a goodbye. It could happen to anyone. It could happen to him and Blaine.

Kurt couldn't imagine his life without Blaine. Sure he would function but there would be just be this hollow in him, a gaping void that could only be validated by a short boy, with an affinity for coffee and coming up with sickeningly sweet endearments who had curly, dark hair, the voice of an angel, and golden, brown eyes that open up into the most kind, honest, and playful soul that Kurt had ever known. It made Kurt nauseous to think that the Blaine he knew would ever fade from his mind and become an insignificant six letter, one syllable word from long ago. Kurt didn't think that that could ever happen. Blaine meant so much to him. He gave him hope, understanding, normalcy, acceptance, safety, warmth, joy, laughter, and most importantly love. They had given the world back to each other after the cruelties of society had taken it away. They meant so much to each other. _How could he ever forget Blaine?_

As Blaine sauntered up behind Kurt to wrap his arms him and rest his head on Kurt's shoulder after the family room had been cleaned from Sam's Goodbye Party, Kurt realized that it wasn't the way that Blaine had made him feel that he would forget, it would be the actual feeling of Blaine himself. The squeeze of his strong arms or inviting hands, the rough scrape of his five o'clock shadow or his calloused fingers along his cheek, the warmth of his body pressed into Kurt's, the slight hesitation in his lips when he went in for a kiss, the weight of his shoulder as he leaned into him. Kurt would forget the scent of peppermint and sawdust that seemed to cling to his boyfriend. He would forget the little things that simply made Blaine who he was, the idiosyncrasies that he fell in love with, that had him falling in love with Blaine again, every time they were together. Those golden, honey eyes would eventually turn brown.

Finn had left to drive the girls home, leaving Blaine and Kurt alone in the house. Kurt turned in his boyfriend's arms, wrapping his own arms around Blaine's neck and holding him close.

"_We're not allowed to forget about each other, ok?"_

"_What? Kurt ar…"_

"_Blaine, just promise me we won't forget each other. I never want to ever have to say goodbye to you but life just happens sometimes and I, I just…" _

"_I promise, Kurt. And just for the record, I will never say goodbye to you."_


	12. Chapter 12 Miss Ally

**A/N: ok so i think this one is just cute and fun so i hope it puts a smile on everyone's face. I love hearing what you think; that really does put a smile on my face.  
>lessthanthree<br>katie**

When Kurt thought about his boyfriend, there was no question in his mind the Blaine was absolutely perfect. Now, Kurt was well aware of the fact that nobody can be perfect but Blaine seemed to defy this law of nature. Maybe it was just because all of the amazing qualities that Blaine possessed covered up the imperfections. Kurt didn't care though; all that mattered to him was that he absolutely loved every bit of the boy sitting across from him. Kurt loved the slicked back hair that made Blaine look polished. He loved the way the dark curls would break free from their gelled prison as the day wore on. Kurt loved the smoothness of his cheeks in the morning that made Blaine's boyish charm shine. He loved the way his scruff would break through by the evening. Kurt loved the way he could look into Blaine's golden, honey, eyes and see the boy's kind, honest, and playful soul. He loved that Blaine's eyes stared directly back into his own soul. Kurt loved the rich olive tone to Blaine's skin that made him look almost exotic. He loved when his skin turned a faint pink when he blushed. Kurt loved how confident Blaine was, making his seem strong, older, in control. He loved it when Blaine got nervous when they got close. Kurt loved that he could talk about fashion and musical with Blaine. He loved that Blaine was just one of the boys. Kurt loved the heavenly sound of Blaine's voice, reconfirming his suspicions that Blaine was an angle sent just for him. He loved that at times they didn't need to speak at all. Kurt loved that Blaine was physically stronger than him, it made him feel protected. He loved that Blaine was shorter than him. Kurt loved that Blaine was his own knight in tattered armour just as much as he was Blaine's. Blaine truly was an amazing person so it shouldn't have come as a shock to Kurt when other people noticed it too.

Both boys had taken a liking to traditional date nights. The simple romance of them was not lost on either and they just seemed to suit their sheepish, adoring, relationship perfectly. Tonight Blaine had picked Kurt up for a dinner date at Breadsticks. Blaine had reserved one of the more secluded tables in the back just so they had a little more privacy. It was a Tuesday night though, so it was quite anyway. As they sat down Kurt saw a sad air flash across Blaine's eyes as he looked back at Kurt.

"_Hey, what's wrong?"_

"_My uh, my dad actually stopped and asked where I was going tonight as I was leaving. He usually just ignores me. I um, I told him I was going to Nicky's place and that a bunch of us were just going to hang out and play video games."_

"_Oh."_

"_Yeah and it's not even the lying that bothers me. I stopped worrying about showing my parents respect a long time ago. It's the fact that I have to lie about you. I didn't think it would bother me this much but I guess there is still a part of me that wants my parents to be a part of my life. If they don't know about you, than they don't know anything about my life."_

"_I'm sorry Blaine. I know how lucky I am to have a dad like I do. I wish I could do something."_

"_I know." _

"_Can I get you boys some drinks to start?"_

Kurt and Blaine were pulled out of their conversation as the pretty, young waitress asked for their drink orders. Kurt didn't fail to notice that her eyes lingered on Blaine a little longer than necessary. He didn't think anything of it and was actually kind of glad that she came when she did. Not that Kurt was annoyed or anything when Blaine talked about his father. He knew that it was important for Blaine to be able to talk about it, to let it out, to prevent it from boiling up within. He was glad that Blaine trusted him enough to talk to him. He was happy to listen and provide some source of comfort for his boyfriend but sometimes it was good to just forget about the bad stuff, the bad stuff that couldn't be made better. It was nice to be able to put it to the side and have fun and just be happy together. After she left the topic of conversation shifted to one that put smiles on both their faces and made them both break out in giggles every so often.

As the evening progressed though Kurt took more and more notice to the special attention _'Ally'_ was paying his boyfriend. She always seemed to talk to only Blaine when she came to their table. She touched his arm as she was leaving and winked at him several times, flashing him that sweet, flirty, smile that Kurt had seen come from Quinn so many times. He didn't know quite how to feel. There was a twinge of jealousy at first and the belittling feeling that came from her not even registering that Blaine was dating him. It hurt to think that he could be looked over so quickly. However, he was mostly just shocked that she hadn't picked up on the fact that Blaine was gay. Kurt knew Blaine didn't really scream 'gay' but he, himself, certainly did and seeing them just laugh and be with each other, any logical person would be able to put two and two together.

"_I think Miss Ally has a thing for you."_

"_Oh, so you picked up on all that?"_

"_Oh come on, she's pretty shameless about it."_

"_Yeah but you're my baby penguin. You're supposed to be oblivious to the ways of flirting."_

"_Umm, who was it again that didn't pick up on the fact that he was leading me on for months with flirty duets and coffee dates?"_

"_Ooo, touché." _

Both boys both giggled at this. It was nice that they could laugh about previous sore spots. They had come so far from where they had been on Valentine's Day and although Kurt still very much thought of himself as a baby penguin, he knew that Blaine loved him just the way he was. By the end of the night Kurt actually found the whole situation rather amusing. He could tell that Blaine was somewhat uncomfortable with it, especially now that he knew Kurt could see what was happening, but Mr. Dapper just couldn't possibly be rude. It was possible that if Blaine had been completely welcoming of the girl's advances that Kurt wouldn't have thought it was endearing how Blaine humoured her. He liked that his boyfriend was a gentlemen and put others before himself. Kurt was sure that if he had expressed his dislike for the way Blaine was handling the situation, that he would have changed his approach but as it was, playing footsie with Blaine under the table while he tried to kindly dismiss the relentless waitress was just too funny. Kurt also knew that he wouldn't have been so impressed if the pretty, blonde girl had been a pretty, blonde boy instead. He was pretty confident, however, in Blaine's sexuality; the Rachel thing had just been a case of misplaced longing.

After sharing a piece of chocolate cake for dessert, Blaine paid and they headed for the door. Blaine opened the door for Kurt and as Kurt walked by he slowed down and pressed his lips to his boyfriends, slipping their hands together. He didn't look back but Kurt knew that Miss Ally was watching. Blaine was amazing after all, how could anyone not watch? It felt good to show her that he wasn't someone who could just be looked over.

"_That was mean."_

"_I know but she was being friendly enough for all three of us, I'm just trying to balance it out."_

"_I love you, you know."_

"_I know. That's why I let Miss Ally have her fun because I get to take you home."_

They both giggled some more as they got in Blaine's car. Kurt looked over at his boyfriend and thought about how good it felt to be able to just goof around and have fun with him. Blaine had a way of keeping everything light and with Kurt's quick wit, the two were easily able to slip away from drama, and the hate, and the judgement, and just enjoy life like everyone else. Kurt loved Blaine for this. He leaned over and took a note from his boyfriend, kissing his swiftly on the nose.

"_I love you too."_


	13. Chapter 13  Invited to Dinner

**A/N: just want to say thanks for sticking with me and reviewing. I know it's corny but I definitely makes me smile. I really liked how this one turned out so I hope you guys do too. It's a little reminiscent of the first chapter but just in the kurt and finn stuff. As you have all probably guessed by now, I am one of those people who love finn. I hope we get some more brotherly love this season. I know it's still over a month away but the 'onset tweets' are getting me really excited. Anyways, excuse my rambling, enjoy and let me know what you thought or if you have any story suggestions.  
>lessthanthree<br>katie**

It was one of those nights, one of those ones where Kurt just couldn't be alone. He needed to be in the presence of another person so that he could just let himself go, let him mind wander, just be incredibly happy and yet still feel safe and grounded in reality. Kurt had sat down cross legged on Finn's bed, placing the pillow he had brought with him behind his back and leaning against the headboard. It was drizzling outside, the kind of warm summer rain that just made you want to run outside and dance in the street. Kurt had opened the window before sitting down so that he could listen to the rain while Finn was still in the shower. The steady pitter patter of the refreshing drops provided some sense of a binding to reality but Kurt still found the comfort of his brother's company much stronger. When Finn came back he put on some loud, explosion, car chase movie on his laptop before lying down beside Kurt.

"_You good, dude?"_

"_I'm good."_

There was a quick exchange of between the two, Finn doing his brotherly duties of making sure that Kurt was ok before silence fell. This had become a regular occurrence for the two, it no longer surprised Finn when he walked into his bedroom and found Kurt just hanging out. Finn had learned that there was no need for him to pry. Kurt was happy. At the moment Kurt didn't really know why he was so happy. The evening had gone differently than expected, certainly not worse but maybe not quite better, just differently.

It was something that had happened every Friday night since he could remember. It happened during the good and the bad, the sun and the rain, whether he wanted it to or not. It was tradition, and an important one at that. For the most part Kurt looked forward to it, or at least didn't mind it. There were a couple of times over the past years where he had begged his father to get out of it and resented him when he refused to let the tradition slip away. Kurt knew why his father cared about it so much though, after all it was the same reason that he himself cared, why he would still end up smiling during those few times that he had tried to get out of. It kept them together, kept the family strong even when it was being torn apart in front of their very eyes. It kept them strong because it kept the memory of her strong. Friday night dinners were, in sense, the phone calls and emails that never ceased to come. She would never be that hazy name from the past; she would never slip away from him or his father because they kept the tradition alive.

Tonight had been different though. For as long as Kurt could remember, Friday night dinners were a tradition reserved strictly for family. It used to be the three of them and then it was only him and his dad. It was only after the wedding that Carol and Finn had been included in the sacred event. Both of his parents were very good about respecting the boundaries of their spouse's deceased loved one. Kurt was very grateful for this. It meant that the tradition could live on without having to tip toe around the fact that it was his mother that started it and that it was continued in her honour. Tonight, for the first time, however a break in the tradition had been made. There had been five people gathered around the Hummel dining room table to eat because his father and invited Blaine over for dinner.

Kurt had initially been shocked by the invitation. It was just something that wasn't done. He then became very nervous. His father must want to discuss _something_. Rachel hadn't been invited so it had to something pertaining to only him and his boyfriend, which worried him even more. When Kurt had asked his father why he had invited Blaine to dinner and got a response along the lines of _'It'll be good for Blaine, good for both of you'_. What on earth could that possibly mean? Blaine had accepted immediately but even he knew the implications of the rarity and importance of the invitation. Kurt knew that he was nervous too and that in turn made he, himself, more nervous. Blaine was usually the confident one. He could throw on that adorable smile and dapper demeanour and charm his way through anything. Kurt fed off this, grateful for the reassurance but now that even Blaine was on edge, Kurt was left to his own devices, which happened to be failing him miserably.

Blaine had arrived right on time, as usual, dressed in dark jeans and a deep red button down which he had rolled up the sleeves. Kurt thought it was cute that whether, subconsciously or not, Blaine wore Dalton colours when he needed reassurance. It warmed his heart to know that Blaine had found a home that meant so much to him, that had been able to fill the void left by his parents. It was nice to know that Blaine was still able to care and could care that much. Kurt didn't mind that his boyfriend had a security blanket. He knew Blaine had been through a lot and if wearing a shirt of a particular colour helped him to stay strong and continue on with his life then Kurt was ok with that. Everybody had one; Kurt, himself, hid behind his sarcasm. He preferred Blaine's though. Blaine's security blanket didn't change his personality; he was still just as kind, and polite, and goofy, as before. He could still let people in whereas Kurt's shut them out. He was getting better though, finding other ways to prop himself up. Blaine's school photo and the cut out of courage that had been in his locker ever since he met the Dalton Warbler did a good job.

Blaine had brought a bottle of wine for Burt and Carol and a single red rose for him.

"_Now, I know you know that red roses typically symbolize love, which is also very true in this case, but they can also symbolize…."_

"_Courage."_

"_Yeah. I thought we both could use some of that tonight."_

"_Yeah, I'm still not sure what this is all about. I'm glad you're here though."_

"_Me too."_

"_Thank-you for the rose."_

"_Anything for you, my love."_

Kurt blushed at the endearment and kissed Blaine on the cheek before taking his hand and leading him into the dining room where dinner was just being put out. The meal had progressed just as a typical Friday night diner would have. The light conversation might have even flowed better than usual due to the extra guest. Kurt soon relaxed into an observing role as he joyfully watched his father, brother, and boyfriend chat away about football, and fantasy leagues, and other stuff he didn't really understand, nor care to. He could tell that Blaine had relaxed too; his hand gestures were getting bigger and his eyebrows were going a mile a minute. At one point during the meal, Burt got up to grab another beer and as he passed by, he clapped Blaine firmly on the back. Kurt just happened to look over at the right time to see his boyfriend's face light up and that's when it clicked.

This was not a sneaky way for his father to sit down with them and discuss _things_ or some sort of test for the boys. The reason Burt had invited Blaine over for Friday night diner was because his father knew that away from Dalton, Blaine didn't really have a family. The middle aged couple that slept down the hall from him might as well have been strangers at this point. His father knew that Blaine understood the significance of the family only tradition and so thought that maybe Blaine would understand that this was gesture welcoming him into theirs. Kurt could feel the tears welling in his eyes. His father got it. Got that they weren't like Finn and Rachel; this wasn't temporary. The two of them had been attached for life the moment Blaine had gotten him to open up about school all those months ago over coffee, even if it hadn't been romantic just then. Got that Blaine wasn't as fortunate as he was; his support system had be taken away. The Dalton boys were amazing and Kurt tried his best but none of them could give Blaine the kind of support that an adult could, that a parent should.

Tuning out the car chase through lower Manhattan that was currently coursing across the laptop screen resting on Finn's leg, Kurt thought back to the goodbyes that night. At the time, he had been too excited to get the front door closed so that he and Blaine could get a few minutes alone on the front porch to notice, or perhaps process the exchange. The handshake between his boyfriend and his father had lingered a bit. There was a pause in their conversation where they had just sort of looked at each other. They had both walked away with a smile on their faces. He now realized that not only had Blaine understood the reason behind the invitation but also how much Blaine had wanted it. As much as they loved each other, Blaine needed more than just Kurt from the relationship. Blaine needed the father figure that he could look up to, the mother figure that he would always be there to take care of him. He had plenty of the brother figures at Dalton but as much as those boys tried they just couldn't replace the real thing. Sadly, Kurt knew that his parents wouldn't be able to replace the real thing either. Blaine would always have a scar that ran much deeper than the ones that criss-crossed his chest, one that split the center of his heart, the one carved by his parents', the two people that were supposed to love you unconditionally, abandonment. Nothing could replace the real thing. Burt and Carol could help heal the wound but the skin would always be slightly raised and lighter in colour, it would never be smooth, it would never be perfect. He didn't know whether or not Blaine knowingly thought about this or if it was just his subconscious again, just trying to make his life easier, trying to stitch up the abrasion left by his parents' cutting coldness.

It was odd to Kurt to think that now Blaine was not only attached to him but to his family as well. There was a little nagging in the back of his mind wondering about what would happen if life just happened and he and Blaine had to part ways. Blaine wouldn't just be losing his best friend, his boyfriend, his love, he would be losing family too. Kurt knew that Blaine was strong, stronger than most men but that didn't mean he was invincible. Kurt quickly shook that thought away, he didn't need to think about that. He thought back to the way Blaine had laughed and joked around with his family, the way his eyes were full of hope and joy when he left. Blaine had been truly happy. It was that right there. Blaine being happy was what had made him happy too. They fed off each other, whether it be nerves or confidence, sadness or joy. They were woven together, had been for a while. He loved Blaine and would never leave him without a fight. He was ok with Blaine needing to latch onto his family because he had done the same when his father married Carol. He was ok knowing that Blaine would never heal completely because his scars were what made him his best friend, his boyfriend, his Blaine. They were a part of him. They were beautiful. They were kind of hot.

Kurt blushed a little at his own thought and ducked his head, turning away from Finn even though his brother wasn't paying him any attention. Finn knew not to pry. There was no need to. Kurt was happy.


	14. Chapter 14  Treehouses and First Kisses

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. we had some family come in from out of town and I have work and then I went to see the glee movie with a friend. It was pretty good, nothing special but lots of fun. This chapter is pretty long so hopefully that'll make up for the wait. There is a lot of dialog and I tried to tackle my reason for keeping them sweet and innocent. I hope it makes sense. Also the bit about the grandpa and the tree house is based off real life events. There was blood everywhere. It was really gross. (btw this will make way more sense after u read it but whatever). I love getting reviews and even story suggestions so feel free to voice your opinion. I'd like to give a shout out to Summer, kyrakahn, and ZeebaDeeba who send me regular reviews. It really means a lot.  
>lessthanthree<br>katie **

There were so many things about his current situation that made Kurt uncomfortable. He was cold, his back hurt, he felt really grimy. He was tired from staying awake well past twilight and well into the wee morning hours and waking up at the crack of dawn. In his opinion it was way too early for the sun to rise and the birds to chirp and even the wind to blow, making the leaves on the trees rustle. Usually he could just close his window and draw his blinds and curl up deeper into his maroon comforter and drift off again for hours against his soft pillow. He would have given anything to return to his bed, return to the comfort of the indoors, to never have to sleep on a wooden floor, halfway up a tree, surrounded by four walls but missing a roof ever again. He then felt the arm around his waist tighten, the stubbly cheek nuzzle further into his t-shirt clad chest, the soft hair, broken free from its gelled prison tickle his arm, the deep breaths ghosting over him, warming him in more ways than one. Looking down at the boy cuddled into his side, Kurt knew he would do it all again in a heartbeat.

**To Kurt: **_hey KK, i have a thought about this weekend. –B_

**To Blaine: **_enlighten me. - K_

**To Kurt: **_well my parents are going to be away on business or whatever and i would really love it if u could come over. I still think it's weird that u've never seen my house or my room. –B_

**To Blaine: **_i would love to. –K_

**To Kurt: **_ok so mainly, i was thinking we could just hang out and then you could stay for dinner but it also crossed my mind that maybe u could sleepover. If u don't want to it's fine, it's just we haven't had one since before we got together and i know ur my boyfriend but ur also my best friend and i want to be able to have my best friend stay over and just have fun or whatever. What do u think? Be honest. –B_

**To Blaine:**_ wow, idkblaine. I really want to as a friend. I hate that people don't get that sometimes i do just really need u as a friend for stuff that the girls just wouldn't get. I'll ask my dad but can we promise just to keep it light? –K_

**To Kurt:**_ of course KK. That's all i wanted anyways.i love u. –B_

**To Blaine:**_ i love u too. –K_

Even with Blaine's promise, Kurt was still nervous. Not scared and not nervous enough to change his mind but there was still a little apprehension. In those few months Kurt had been at Dalton he had slept over in Blaine's dorm a few times. It had been purely friendly and Kurt had slept on the couch in Blaine's room. There had been the time after Rachel's party but that didn't really count because Blaine was drunk and Kurt was annoyed. Finn's birthday had been the only time that they had ever slept next to each other and even then they had been surrounded by a bunch of snoring boys. This time the house would be empty, they would be alone, just the two of them, all night.

If Kurt was apprehensive then of course his father would be too. It definitely took some convincing. Kurt was a little ashamed of himself when he threw out the gay card. It was never something Kurt felt right about doing because he knew his father was far more understanding and supportive then some parents. He didn't like making his father feel guilty when in reality Kurt couldn't be more thankful for him. At the same time though, there was a lot of truth to what he told Blaine about the fact that sometimes he really just needed him as a friend. It wasn't about being romantic or being boyfriends all the time. There were still times when the two would talk the way they had before regional's that year. There were stillsubjects that Kurt just needed to talk about with someone else in the same situation, someone else who was navigating the treacherous waters of being a gay teen in Ohio. Burt still had a difficult time understanding this so pulling the gay card wasn't completely unwarranted but Kurt still felt as if he was abusing the system. The system eventually gave in but he knew it wasn't totally thrilled with the idea.

"_Thank-you Dad, it really means a lot to me."_

"_I know kid. Have fun and be sure to call if, you know, you need anything."_

"_I will."_

Kurt left for Blaine's around nine twenty on Saturday morning. He had told Blaine that he would be there at eleven and it was about an hour and a half drive from Lima to where Blaine lived on the outskirts of Westerville. The extra ten minutes gave him enough time to swing by a coffee shop in Westerville and pick up a non-fat mocha latte for himself and a medium drip for his boyfriend. Kurt was quite proud of himself as he set the cups down in the cup holders. He always felt a little guilty when Blaine showered him in sweet, romantic gestures and he didn't return the favour. He knew Blaine liked to do it and he knew that that was kind of just the way they were but it always made him feel good when he could do something nice for his boyfriend too.

He carefully followed Blaine's directions and pulled up to a rod iron gate standing in front of a long, winding driveway, lined with beautiful cherry blossom trees. He pressed the intercom and Blaine buzzed him in. His boyfriend came out to greet him as he finally pulled up to the mansion of a house and opened the driver door and held out his hand to help Kurt out, always the gentleman. Kurt handed Blaine his medium drip and the Warbler immediately fell into a fit of laughter.

"_What?"_

"'_For my adorable, attention whore.' You're so sweet KK."_

"_KK? You only call me that when we're texting"_

"_I guess it sorta slipped. I kinda like it though; I think it's cute, just like you"_

"_I kinda like it too."_

Blaine grabbed Kurt's duffle bag from him and took his hand, intertwining their fingers as he led them into the house. It was nice, really nice. There were tall, ten foot ceilings, dark, hardwood floors, the real kind, not the fake plastic stuff, the was a large, wood burning fire place in the sitting room. There were lots of knick knacks, and family pictures. Kurt noted that the little boy in the photos never seemed to age above twelve. It was like he had vanished. It felt eerily homey despite what Kurt knew about the Anderson's. He figured it was all residual from when they had truly been a family, before Blaine had come out, before they had turned their backs on their only son. He picked up the frame sitting on the end table closest to him. It was of a seven or eight year old Blaine standing besidewhat had to be his father on a beach. They both had swim trunks on and were leaning against surf boards. They shared the exact same pose, their left hands were resting on their hips and their right arms were draped over their boards. The little boy with the curly, dark hair and big hazel eyes was grinning broadly at the camera while the older man, who resembled his son so much, looked down adoringly at him.

"Aww, Blaine, you're so cute and you look exactly the same."

"I always liked that one. It's from when we went to California one spring break. Dad thought it would be fun to take surfing lessons. We both sucked horribly but he was right, it was fun. It's kind of taunting how they leave them out though. It's like their saying that we could all be happy again if I just decided to be straight instead. It's as if they hide behind the old pictures and memories from before I came out so they can pretend that they aren't horrible parents. I don't know, it just bugs me"

"I'm sorry Blaine."

"It's not your fault. Come on I'll show you my room."

Kurt set the dark brown frame back onto the table and slipped his hand back into his boyfriend's as Blaine led him up the stairs. At the top they turned to the right and went all the way down the hall to the door at the very end that had been left a jar. Blaine held it open and gestured for Kurt to walk in. Kurt fell in love with the room immediately. It was very masculine, decorated in blues and greens, and yet still not overly teenage boy. There was a double bed set against the wall to his right and a large desk on the other side of it. There was a window seat on the wall opposite the door and a dresser and two other doors on the wall to his left. Blaine had a wide collection of framed posters ranging from _The Ohio State Buckeyes _and _Greenday_ to _Across the Universe_ and _Rent_. There were picture everywhere. Kurt recognized most of the guys in them as other members of the Warblers. They ranged from camping trips and parties, to competition performances and them all just hanging out in the common rooms or various dorm rooms. He picked himself out in a few of the more recent additions to the collection. Kurt even saw the one taken during his first week at Dalton. He was sitting on one of the couch in Jeff's room and Blaine was sitting on the floor leaning against the side of his leg. They were laughing at some joke about Wes and his gavel and Blaine had turned around to look at him just as Nicky had snapped the photo. It had always been one of Kurt's favorite pictures of them but he had been too embarrassed to ask for a copy before they had started dating. Blaine also had the one from the Christmas party where the two had been caught under the mistletoe and Blaine had leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Kurt grinned sheepishly at himself blushing like no other in that picture. Looking at all the pictures caused all of the happy memories that Kurt had had at Dalton to come flooding back. McKinley would always be his home but that didn't take away any of the love he had for the all boys private school. It was easy to get lost in all the pictures, taking time to relive every moment in time captured on a glossy five by seven piece of paper. Kurt could see why Blaine put them up, so he could escape the suffocating emptiness of his house and return to his home, if only for few seconds.

After taking the grand tour, the boys had practically skipped to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for dinner. They had settled on a pasta dish because it was relatively simple and yet still a step above grilled cheese. On the way to the store, Blaine pointed out anything and everything that came to mind: where he fell off his bike, where he got stung be a bee, where he and Danny used to hang out. Kurt noticed the Danny seemed to come up a lot. He had only ever heard Blaine speak of his friend once before but now the boy's name was appearing in every other sentence. It sort of made sense though. Blaine associated Danny with the house he grew up in, the neighborhood, his old life. When he had to step back into that world of shame and disappointment he clung to the only source of joy that he had had. The memories of Danny blocked out the harder ones, the more painful ones, the ones that tore at his confidence and self worth. Maybe one day Kurt could be the spark of hope that Blaine looked to.

They spent sometime in the backyard playing badminton or simply laying in the grass watching the clouds. They had started out beside each other, each with one hand under their heads and the other clasping their boyfriends but eventually Kurt had ended up with his head resting on Blaine's chest. He could hear Blaine's heart beating and feel the rise and fall of his rib cage. It was amazing to actually feel the life in the boy he loved. He was so close to Blaine, literally pressed right up against his side. It felt so intimate and yet it was extremely calming and relaxing. Kurt could faintly feel the light patterns that Blaine was tracing into his back with his fingers. It all just felt so perfect, so _right_, it sent chills down his spine in the best way possible.

The boys popped in a few movies while they ate dinner, each getting to pick one. Kurt picked _Mean Girls_ and Blaine picked _The 10 things I Hate About You_. They laughed out loud in the first one and drooled over Heath Ledger in the second. It was just purely fun.

"_Come on, I wanna show you something."_

"_Blaine, it's almost midnight and we're already in our pyjammas, why on earth do you want to go outside?"_

"_Cause it'll be fun, trust me. Oh and grab your pillow and a throw blanket from my bed."_

"_Why? Wait you're not making me sleep outside, are you?"_

"_Making? No. Asking really, really, nicely? Yes. Come on, please Kurt."_

"_You owe me."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

Blaine led them across the sweeping, well kept lawn and through the thicket of trees at the far end of the backyard. They were well hidden from the house at this point and when Blaine stopped, Kurt looked up to see a very elaborate tree house perched in one of the biggest trees. After a little more protesting, Kurt climbed up the ladder behind his boyfriend and took a seat beside him, once inside. Despite being large enough for the two grown boys to stand and move around comfortably and having two different levels, it was still just wood and Kurt could already feel his butt getting sore.

"_My dad and Grandpa built this for me when I was little. My Grandpa was an engineer so they had thought it would have been a piece of cake. It took all summer and a trip to the emergency room when my Grandpa cut his finger off with the saw. They sewed it right back on though and he got right back to work. He passed away when I was ten. I think he knew I was gay though. I remember him telling me things like 'be sure to follow your heart, don't worry if others think it's leading you astray because you'll know that it will always point you to the right person.' It all kinda went right over my head at the time but looking back, he must have known. Danny and I used to hang out up here all the time. After we both came out my parents didn't like the idea of us being around each other so we would just meet up here. I had my first kiss up here." _

"_I'm glad your first kiss was special." _

"_Me too. Does it still bother you?"_

"_Sometimes. I know it's silly and I'm actually kinda ashamed that this is still how I think but it almost feels like being gay and acting on it are two completely separate things. Like both will get you damned to Hell but acting on it will just get you there faster. I think that's one of the reasons I'm so afraid of anything sexual. There is still part of me that thinks it's wrong."_

"_Oh, Kurt."_

"_I think that's why I'm so insistent on keeping things chaste and innocent because so many gay stereotypes are all about getting off and so maybe if we can prove that ours isn't our damnation into Hell will be postponed. There was nothing loving about my first kiss and that just really freaks me out."_

"_Oh, KK. Come here."_

Kurt crawled into Blaine's lap and let himself collapse into the warmth, and safety of his boyfriends loving embrace. He let himself cry, silent tears while Blaine whispered reassuring words and endearments in his ear. Blaine held him until the tears stopped and cupped his cheeks, gently brushing the few that lingered there away with his thumbs. He had pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, both of his eyelids, his cheeks, and the tip of his nose before finally softly touching their lips together.

"_I love you, Kurt and I promise you that I will never stop trying to change that feeling inside of you."_

Kurt knew Blaine hadn't fallen asleep on his chest. He wouldn't have been able to fall asleep at all if Blaine had been pressed that close to him. They had lain down on their backs with their hands clasped between them. He always suspected Blaine to be a cuddler. He was ok with that though. He was becoming ok with more and more thing as time went on. He knew Blaine would keep his promise. He knew that one day _everything _would feel right. Blaine gave him that source of hope that Danny had given and still gave Blaine. He knew it wouldn't happen overnight and he was ok with that too because as long as he had Blaine, he had someone to be wrong with together…..and based off of the iron grip the boy currently had around Kurt's waist, Blaine wasn't going anywhere.


	15. Chapter 15  When His Armor Came Off

**A/N: Hi guys. So this one is very much a continuation of the last chapter. It was prompted by a reviewer, who I'm not even sure meant it as a suggestion but whatever. I honestly had no intentions of writing the morning after until I read the review and then it seemed kinda dumb not to. There are crazy amounts of dialog in this one but I think it works. I also added proper titles to all of the chapters b/c I kept forgetting which one was which and this just makes going back to reference them easier. Hope everyone likes it. Let me know if you have any story suggestions. I love hearing your thoughts  
>lessthanthree<br>Katie **

"_You're late."_

"_I know. Sorry Dad. Blaine and I sorta lost track of time and the traffic was a little heavy."_

"_Well next time you and Blaine go out I'm taking twenty minutes off your curfew so that maybe you guys will be more careful. I was worried about you."_

"_Dad, it's only twenty minutes and it's still light out. Finn's been a lot later, when it was dark, and you guys didn't care."_

"_Well, that's different."_

"_Why? Because I'm gay?"_

"_Frankly, yes Kurt. I worry about you more than I worry about Finn because you're gay. Blaine's a good kid and I know you trust him but that doesn't change the fact that he could easily overpower you. There is no way Rachel could take Finn. What concerns me more though, is other people. Nobody is going to care if your brother is walking hand in hand with a girl; they might care about you and Blaine. Plus, you were over at his place. What if his parents had come home early? They're kinda a wild card right now and honestly, I'd rather not find out where they lie on the 's not that I think your weak, Kurt; you're probably the strongest man I know. It's just the situation."_

"_I get treated differently everywhere I go because I'm gay. It would be nice if there was some equality in my own home, within my own family."_

"_Now, wait a minute, wasn't it just last night that Iagreed to let you sleepover at your boyfriend's, alone. Neither Carol nor I have ever allowed Finn to spend the night at Rachel's and it isn't something we ever intend on allowing. I let you go because you started going on about how Blaine isn't just your boyfriend but he's also your only friend that you can talk to about certain things and sometimes you want to be able to spend extra time with him and stay over like Finn does with Puckerman. Is this ringing a bell? The rules may be different for you because your situation is different, whether that means they're more lenient or stricter is not up to you. Does this sound agreeable because we can always go back to you not being allowed to spend the night with Blaine?"_

"_Yeah, that sounds agreeable. I'm sorry I was late."_

"_I know. Did you have fun?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Good. Now, I don't want this becoming a routine thing but if you want to spend the night with Blaine every once in a while, I'm sure we can arrange something. Also, I know there are some things that either you feel more comfortable talking to Blaine about or you feel that he'll be more understanding about but whatever it is Kurt, I want you to know that you can come to me too. I'm glad you can talk to him because I'm sure he'll be more helpful in certain cases but I am always willing to listen."_

"_Thank-you, Dad."_

"_No problem, kid."_

Kurt stood up from the couch, grabbed his duffle bag and headed upstairs to his room. After spending the night in a tree house, he wanted nothing more than a hot shower to not only ease his back muscles but to also get rid of the grime that collected everywhere from simply being outside. He was rummaging through his duffle bag to grab a few things that he had taken to Blaine's that he would need for a shower when a flash of red caught his eye. He couldn't help the grin when he realized what it was and who had put it there. Kurt was pulled from marveling at what an amazing, thoughtful, understanding, goofball of a boyfriend he had when Finn plopped down on his bed.

"_Someone's happy" _

"_Can I help you?"_

"_Well how was it? Did you get any?"_

"_FINN!"_

"_Relax, I'm kidding…or am I? You decided and let me know. In all seriousness though, the answer to question is always no, always."_

"_Huunnnnnnnnnnn?"_

"_Was it worth the punishment for being late?" _

"_Definitely!" _

Waking up with his boyfriend snuggled tightly into his chest was the most breath taking thing Kurt had ever experienced. Firstly, there was the simple fact that Blaine's weight resting on his diaphragm made it physically harder to breath. Mostly though, it was the angelic look on Blaine's face. His eyes were closed gently and the lashes would flutter every now and again and his plump lips lay slightly parted. Every muscle in his face was relaxed and content. There was no worry or stress or confidently, dapper mask. His flushed cheek lay willingly open and bare. Kurt couldn't resist pushing a lose curl off his angels forehead to get a better look at his beautiful face. Kurt kept his hand buried in Blaine's hair. It was usually slicked back with gel so he could never run his fingers through it and he knew as soon as Blaine woke up, the gel would return so he planned to take full advantage of the situation. This was probably the most intimate that they had ever been and yet there was something calming about his sleeping boyfriend, something so pure and innocent about Blaine holding onto him like he was holding onto his teddy bear. There is something so trusting about letting yourself fall asleep while wrapped in another person that made Kurt's anxiety about the physical contact simply drift away on the light, morning breeze that was blowing through.

"_Hmm, that feels good KK."_

"_Good morning."_

"_Morning. Your comfy."_

"_I see that you're a bit of a cuddle monster aren't you?"_

"_uh-hun."_

"_Here let me up and I'll go make coffee _

"_No, no, I'll come. I don't really want to get up though; you're so warm."_

"_Yeah, it's freezing out here."_

Kurt could see the goose bumps on his arms and when Blaine eventually sat up, he noticed them too. Kurt saw a grin break across his boyfriends face as he reached over to grab the bright red, Dalton issued, hoodie that he must have discarded sometime during the night. The grin turned sheepish as Blaine handed it to him to put on. He hesitated a bit before taking it. Wearing his boyfriend's clothes was always something that he had fantasized about. Kurt cherished his own wardrobe. He didn't trust anybody but himself with it and although he knew that Blaine's attachment to his own clothes was different than his, he understood the significance of the gesture. It meant a lot to him that Blaine would let him wear his hoodie. It wasn't just any hoodie either; it was Blaine's Dalton hoodie, his security blanket. Kurt knew that that piece of fabric was to Blaine what his _'bitch stare'_ was to him. It was Blaine's way of putting on a brave face, gathering the troops behind him as he marched, ever dapperly, into the breach. The colour of Kurt's cheeks shifted to match that of the sweater as he pulled it over his head. He had never worn anything of Blaine's before, aside from a pair of mittens that he had borrowed during the cold spell that winter when he had forgotten his own at home. It was soft and warm and Kurt could smell the saw dusty, peppermint scent that always seemed to cling to his boyfriend on the inviting fabric. The hoodie was much too big for his lithe frame, it was probably even too big for Blaine, and hung loosely off his shoulders, the arms reaching far past the tips of his fingers. He felt engulfed in it, engulfed by his boyfriend, almost as if Blaine was still snuggled into his chest, almost.

They walked back to the house hand in hand and immediately put on some music and began breakfast. Blaine started the pancake batter while Kurt made the coffee, again, deciding to go for the relatively simple option that was still a step above hopeless bachelor. As Blaine stirred, Kurt saw an opportunity and snuck in behind him wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist, nuzzling his cheek into Blaine's shoulder. Kurt had come to love when Blaine did this to him but quickly discovered that he liked the role reversal just as much. He loved feeling Blaine's taught stomach muscles contracting underneath his hands and his shoulders flexing as he moved. He loved being able to just hang on and completely relax into the boy. He could have almost fallen back to sleep.

"_Who's the cuddle monster now?"_

"_Me."_

"_You're too cute sometimes. You were ok with last night, right? I should have asked but I think I might have been asleep. I don't really remember shifting."_

"_It's ok. It was a bit of a surprise and I'm not entirely sure I would have been able to fall asleep like that; even you just lying beside me and holding my hand gave me butterflies. Waking up that way was nice though."_

"_I feel kinda bad about being all over you after what you told me last night. I never want to force anything on you or make you feel bad or ashamed of yourself."_

"_Don't feel bad. I really liked waking up to you wrapped around me. I don't want to feel the way I do. I want to feel good about being close to someone, to you. I think it's just going to a little longer for me but I do want to get there so I think we can keep living, and being, and just feeling it all out."_

"_That sounds good to me." _

"_Can I ask you something?"_

"_Shoot."_

"_If Danny hadn't moved away, do you think that you would have gotten together?"_

"_I honestly don't know. At the time I never thought of him that way because I knew I didn't want or need a boyfriend then but that could very well have all changed by now. My guess is we might have given it a shot but I'm not sure it really would have worked. Why do you ask?"_

"_Well it's kinda about what I told you last night but it's also about you. I don't want you to freak out or anything though because it's just my crazy head. But, um, yeah it's just that sometimes I can't stop thinking that I just succumbed to those primal urges and went for the first gay guy I met and, you know that, maybe we don't actually love each other. It really freaks me out sometimes because I really don't want it to be true and then if it is..."_

Kurt had felt Blaine's movements come to a gradual halt as he was talking. It was almost as if his words had drained all the life from his boyfriend's body. After a moment of silence, stillness, Kurt felt Blaine's hands upon his own pull them away from his body. Kurt didn't want to let go; he wanted to remain attached to Blaine forever so that even if it was true, he could pretend that it wasn't. Blaine turned around to face him and the squeeze Kurt felt from their clasped hands gave him the courage to look up into his boyfriend's beautiful brown eyes.

"_I don't think that's true at all. There wasn't a whole lot about us that was easy. I mean, you were crying within twenty minutes of meeting each other. Then there was the whole Valentine's thing and the Rachel thing and although I know you have your family's support, I don't and that's still eats at me sometimes. Without trying to sound conceded, I see the way you look at me. I recognize it as the same way I look at you with pure adoration, selflessness, and wonder. It's kinda magical the way you light up around me and that, if I'm not mistaken, is true love. Let me ask you something. When was it that you first thought that you were in love with me?"_

"_Umm , well I told Mr. Schue that I loved you before Christmas but I was just making a point then. Honestly, I think it was right after you told me. I felt so strongly about you but I think I had learned over the past few years to repress those feelings and so I did until you showed me that I didn't have to."_

"_See, if this had been just about the fact that I was gay, the '_love'_ would have come more instantaneously because it wouldn't have mattered who I was as a person or how I made you feel. It came because we built an emotional connection that has nothing to do with what number either of us were to each other and everything to do with the other person. I love you, Kurt."_

"_I love you too."_

"_And, frankly, I don't think either one of us has succumbed to those primal urges yet. I think those require a lot less clothing and a lot more touching."_

"_BLAINE!"_

"_What? It's true."_

"_You're such a goof."_

"_But you love me"_

"_That I do."_

With his body relaxed and refreshed from the heat of the cleansing shower, Kurt set about drying himself off and fixing his hair. He had to rush his post shower routine a bit because he had told Carol that he would help with dinner. He quickly unpacked, running his hand, caringly over the bright red bundle that had _mysteriously _found its way into his bag. He eventually gave in and pulled it over his head, not caring that it had now messed up his hair for the second time that day. It still smelled like Blaine. It was still warm and comfy and way too big. Standing in front of the mirror, Kurt noticed the goofy grin on his own face. There is no way that a horribly common, unfashionable hoodie would make him that happy, and giddy. It had to be the boy of whom the hoodie belonged, the boy that had sacrificed his own peace to give Kurt some; the boy who was slowly becoming less and less reliant on his Dalton issued armor because Kurt, himself was building him up. The boy he was in love with.


	16. Chapter 16  Dream a Little Dream For Me

**A/N: I know this one took me a while so I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know  
>lessthanthree<br>Katie**

It had been a quiet, lazy, Wednesday afternoon. The sun was out and although it was definitely shorts and t-shirt weather, there was a cool breeze which helped repress the gruelling Ohio summer sun. They had reluctantly pulled themselves to their feet to head home when they saw the time. Kurt's parents would be expecting them home soon for dinner and both boys had decided to be extra careful when it came to getting home upon the agreed time after the outcome of the previous weekend.

Walking back through the park, Kurt felt Blaine's arm slip around his waist and pull him close. It felt nice to have Blaine so close, so close when they were in public, under the judgemental stare of society. It still made Kurt a little uneasy. He was much more comfortable being affectionate when they were at home. This was one of those things that seemed to come with the territory of being gay. While most teens couldn't wait to get out of the house so that they could get a little closer with their significant other, Kurt and Blaine preferred to stay in the Hummel family room, snuggled on the couch, finding the threat of an over protective father far more appealing than that of an ignorant, homophobic, bible thumper. They were becoming more comfortable though, both with each other and with the public. The uneasiness that Kurt felt now was nothing compared to what he had felt a month or two ago nor was it anything that made him want to pull away. It was simply just there. He hoped that it would be something that would disappear with time but maybe he was just one of those people who wasn't overly affectionate and would always be a little hesitant. He had gotten to the point though where he was not going to let the hesitation, either steamed from within or from others' gaze, prevent him from being happy and being with Blaine in a way they both wanted. After spending the afternoon in the park he now hoped more than anything that even though some people might not approve of what they were and what they had, that they would never actually be able to stop them from living their lives like any other couple could, like they wanted to.

Blaine had come over around noon bearing the usual medium drip for himself and non-fat mocha latte for Kurt. _'For my cute and cuddly, KK'_was today's message and as usual Kurt had smiled and blushed at his boyfriend's sentiment. Even though Blaine had been doing this all summer and the two had made some slight progressions in their relationship, Kurt still couldn't help becoming flustered at the gesture. The words were always embarrassingly sweet but it was also that there was someone who cared enough to put in the effort into seeing him react that way, seeing him be happy. Kurt knew that it was by no means a huge deal but not everything had to be. Simple was best. Simple was them.

It didn't take long for the boys to become restless in the house. They had spent most of the summer there. The DVD collection had been thoroughly exhausted and Finn was occupying the kitchen where Rachel was attempting to teach him how to bake. Both boys also had an itching to get outside and enjoy one of the cooler summer days that rarely blessed the Ohio summer.

"Hey Finn, can Blaine and I take your football to the park."

"Sure, you guys want to get a game together?"

"FINN! You are not allowed to bale on our baking day, besides I'm sure Blaine and Kurt want to be alone. They do not want to have to run around with a bunch of stupid, smelly boys."

"Oh, right, sometimes I forget that you guys are like on a date and you know not just hanging out with the guys."

"Ah, right. Ok, well, thanks Finn. We'll see you guys later. Keep your eye on him, Rach."

"Will do, have fun, boys."

Tossing the football around had never really been Kurt's cup of tea but he knew Blaine enjoyed it and if he had to be honest, playing pass with Blaine wasn't nearly as bad as playing with Finn or his dad. Blaine had a way of making it better simply by being Blaine. Kurt found that Blaine had that effect on a lot of things. It wasn't like they were actually playing football. There was no running or sweating or competitiveness. They could stand fairly close to each other, under the heavenly shade cast by the old oak trees, and have a conversation while they lazily tossed the ball back and forth. Kurt let Blaine show him how to throw the ball properly, lining his fingers up along the stitches and all. It was something that both his father and brother had shown him before, something that Blaine had even shown him before but Kurt knew that Blaine liked showing off and it gave him an excuse to get closer to his boyfriend. He felt silly for needing an excuse to stand intimately close to Blaine. When they were alone he didn't force himself to come up with some childish reason. In public though, he felt he needed one. Needed some sort of cover for standing so close to another boy, a way to trick Blaine out of his cautions habits, a way for himself to get around his shyness. Kurt didn't like this idea;he wished that neither one had to worry about others or even about themselves but that was just the way things were and so if Kurt needed to pretend that he didn't know how to line his fingers up properly along the stitches or that he even cared to learn how in order to spend a few moments with his side pressed into his boyfriends chest and the palm of Blaine's hand resting on the back of his, he would do it in a heartbeat.

Eventually the soft, cool grass called their names and the boys sat down against one of the bigger trees to just relax. Once seated, Blaine scooted over a bit so that their shoulders touched. It was something that was just so sweet and simple and inherently Blaine, inherently them, that Kurt couldn't help but giggle at the gesture. He could see that familiar, shy smile appear on Blaine's face and a hint of a blush creep up his cheeks. After four months of dating Blaine was still a little reserved. It made Kurt feel special to know that Blaine only took off his confident mask for him. Oddly enough, it made him feel safer too. It made him feel like he wasn't alone, like they were in the same boat, navigating each other for the first time together.

They happened to be facing the park's swing set and soon the little girl, in the little purple dress,who was laughing and squealing while her father pushed her on the swing caught both boys' attention. It was hard not to pay attention to the pair as they loudly and quite joyfully conversed. Kurt couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face as he watched them. It was nice to see the simple delight that the two found in just spending an afternoon together.

"That could be us someday"

"What?"

"You know, married, with a kid, skipping work and taking her to the park on a sunny afternoon."

"Wait, you've thought about this."

"Not seriously but it's crossed my mind here and there."

"Wow, I don't think I've ever thought about it. I mean I always picture us together in the future but I've never gone into any detail."

"Really? I'm shocked. All the guys' girlfriends have names and genders and timelines all planned out. It's pretty funny listening to them all freak out about it."

"Wait, are you saying that you expected me to have that stuff sorted out too because you think of me like a girl?"

"What? No, KK, that's not what I meant at all. I don't think of you like a girl in the slightest but you do tend to have some more traditionally feminine tendencies so, I don't know I just assumed. I'm sorry if I offended you, I really didn't mean to."

"I know, I'm sorry, that's just a sore spot I guess. Have you really thought about those sorts of things though?"

"Yeah, I mean, like I said, nothing seriously but, ok this is really silly but it's something Danny and I always joked around about and it just sorta stuck. We always thought that after we found our Prince Charming that we could run away to Canada so we could actually get married and so I sorta picture us living in Manitoba and adopting a boy first so that he can work in the wheat fields and then a girl later and we can become hockey fanatics and live off maple syrup and poutine. You could design beaver fur hats and coats, you know, really trade mark the lumberjack chic look and your French would come in handy too. Don't laugh at me, this is my dream. It's not nice to make fun of other peoples' hopes and dreams."

"I'm sorry, Blaine but that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. There is no way I'm living on a wheat farm in the middle of the Canadian Prairies, also known as 'The Most Boring Place On Earth', and becoming a fan of some barbaric sport that is even more violent than football besides we can just move to New York or Connecticut, or Maine to get married. I would prefer New York FYI."

"Yes, yes, yes. I know you prefer New York and I know my little dream is a little out-dated. There had to be some good parts though?"

"Yes, I suppose there were some."

"Like what?"

"Umm, well, I don't know. I guess I liked the part about actually being married and not just living together and I like the idea of adopting instead of using a surrogate. Providing a home for a baby in need seems better than spending thousands of dollars to artificially inseminate some women."

"Yeah?"

"Blaine, this is really weird."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It just seems like it's too early to be talking about this sorta stuff. I've never even thought about it before."

"Is there any particular reason for that because I think it's pretty normal to have these kinda thoughts, at least in passing?"

"I suppose it's my way of not getting my hopes up. You know that before you the closest thing I had to a Blaine was Finn. I know it sounds really stupid but I was ready to just run with him to the bank because I couldn't see anything else. And well that didn't work out the way I intended it to so I guess I've stopped intending. It's not just you either, Blaine. Any State could retract their marriage equality bill like California did and who knows how possible it'll be for a gay couple to adopt a baby. There are a lot of ways that this could blow up in my face like Finn did and I guess I'm trying to avoid being called a fag again by the only person that seemed to actually care."

"I'm sorry KK and I know Finn kills himself over that every day; I can see it in his eyes."

"I know."

"And Kurt, I don't know about everyone else but I know for me at least that I would never do anything to hurt you and I would put up a damn good fight to keep us together and give us that fairy tale ending because I want and need this just as much as you do. As far as everything else goes, you can't let yourself give up hope. You deserve the world, an even better one at that, and as soon as you stop dreaming you'll start settling. You can't let yourself do that. You're one of the biggest dreamers I know; it's one of the things I love about you and I couldn't stand to see that disappear. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Ok, good, now let's try this out. What would you name our baby girl or baby boy?"

"Well for a girl, maybe Elizabeth? I kinda like the idea of naming her after my mother but I don't know for a boy."

"Think."

"Yes, yes, yes, umm, maybe Eli or Noah?"

"For someone who despises religion, you sure like bible names."

"Well like I've always said, they're good with the all the smoke and mirrors. It's only when you get to the core of it that is all falls to Hell. Therefore, I see nothing wrong with borrowing their names as long as the person inside can be different. What do you think?"

"I like Elizabeth but it would definitely need to be shortened to Lizzie and I kinda like Eli too. You know stick with the "E" theme."

"You would like themes."

"Shut up."

Walking home, Kurt still felt weird about imaging a their twosome becoming a threesome or even sporting a wedding band on his ring finger that found it's perfect match on Blaine's. There was something about Blaine that was reassuring though. Something about the fact that they had known each other for ten months now and at no point had Blaine ever walked away. They had argued, disappointed each other, stumbled across a few awkward conversations and yet Blaine had never really left. He decided to keep his promise because Blaine made him feel that his dreams would be safe and wouldn't turn into nightmares. Although he knew it was a small step, Kurt reciprocated and slipped his own arm around his boyfriend's waist and kissed him on the cheek instead of settling for keeping his hands to himself. He was glad he did because it felt just as good holding Blaine close as it felt to be held close by him. It gave him some control, as if he had a say in whether or not Blaine left, as if he wasn't helpless and at the mercy of others good will. It also felt good to lightly trace the muscles along Blaine's side with his fingers. Kurt felt like that was something he could do for hours. One day he would be able to do that for hours.


	17. Chapter 17  Finchel and Prince Charming

**New A/N: Well bloody hell! I just realized that I forgot to delete the two paragraphs at the end that come after the huge gap. I changed my mind a lot during this one and those were sorta outtakes if you will. They're gone now. Sorry if I confused anyone.**

**A/N: Ok so this one is dedicated to two people. The first being Summer, who prompted the idea for this one and is a regular reviewer (which I greatly appreciate). I'd always wanted to write this one and decided to do it after reading the suggestion. It didn't turn out as light and fun as I intended it to be. I was going for funny but it was really hard so I ended up with this instead. The second person I'm dedicating this to is my friend Teresa. She helped me through this one and is always enthusiastic about this story. Let me know  
>lessthanthree<br>katie **

They had pulled into the Hummel driveway,purposelyearly so that they could kick Finn out of the car and have some quality alone had spent the past five minutes leaning over the center console in order to get a little closer to his boyfriend. They weren't full on making out; tongues, although occasionally slipping out to give a quick lick or trace of the others lips, had yet to fully cross into the others mouth. They were definitely getting there though. Lips would from time to time stray down, along the other's jaw and hands seemed to wander across shoulders and down backs, clutching at had just started to fully relax into Blaine's touch when he got Finn's warning text and reluctantly pulled away from his boyfriend's plump, pink, and slightly bruised lips. He had been the cause of that bruise. Kurt was thankful it was dark because the flush on his cheeks was hidden. It was funny that although he thought it was adorable when Blaine blushed and his boyfriend had made it rather apparent that the sentiment was mutual, Kurt still disliked that his reddened cheeks gave away his flustered state so readily.

"I gotta go."

"I know. I wish you could stay though."

"Me too. Goodnight Blaine."

"Goodnight Kurt."

They whispered their words, not wanting to disturb the peace of the cool, clear night nor their quite moment together even though they both knew it was coming to end. Kurt returned his palm to rest against Blaine's cheek from where it had migrated down to his waist, instinctively running his thumb over the boy's stubble. He loved the scratch of it. They exchanged one last quick peck before Kurt departed.

It was somewhat inevitable that this evening would come. They had spent quite a bit of time together already over the summer and they all got along so this was just naturally something that they would do. From an outsider's perspective, Kurt knew that it looked a little weird. There he was, with Blaine, on a double date with his brother and his brother's girlfriend. That, in itself, wasn't completely out of the norm, although very rarely did one go on a double date with a sibling. It was more the fact that Kurt had once pined over Finn and Blaine had had a week long fling with Rachel. Kurt supposed it was a bit of a testament to how those phases had so little to do with love and affection towards the other person and much more to do with the longing for acceptance that they were all able to hang out together and have a good time without the past being a forefront in any of their minds. Kurt was relieved and rather proud of the fact that neither himself nor Blaine harbored any ill will towards the other for said phases; they understood the reasons behind each other's actions more than anybody else would or even could and empathized with them hole heartedly. That was a testament to the strength of their relationship.

Rachel had been the one to initially suggest the date and being Rachel Berry and all she had originally wanted to go on Tuesday so that they could partake in karaoke night at the bowling alley. Both Finn and Kurt had shot this down immediately. They loved the girl to death but were not about to put up with a Rachel Berry performance if they didn't have to. So instead Kurt told the girl a little white lie about Blaine having a family thing on Tuesday and that they would have to put it off a night. He always felt bad about lying to Rachel. She had a way of getting under his skin, much the way she did with everybody, but there was something about Rachel that he was drawn to. There was something that seemed to connect them. They were so similar in so many ways; their drive to succeed, their belief in themselves, the way they didn't believe that love would ever find them, the way they pretended that that didn't matter. Most of the time Kurt would rather hang out with Mercedes but he was pretty sure that Rachel understood him better.

He admired Rachel for her ability to stick to her guns. He knew what it felt like to be lonely and then finally find the one that makes you whole. He couldn't imagine making the decision that faced her at the end of this year. Kurt knew that there were plenty of decent guys in the world who could rival Finn but he also knew that after fighting for so long for the quarterbacks affection, being able to let go couldn't be easy. Allowing herself to become even closer to him this year while knowing the outcome come next summer was one of the bravest things Kurt had seen. He knew he had been right about her; she was one in a million. There was a part of him that hoped Finn would see that before it was too late.

Bowling had been fun. Kurt had had a bit of a melt down when he saw and unfortunately smelt the rental shoes that he was being forced to wear. They were, as he so eloquently put it, '_unnecessarily revolting and not even worthy of the homeless'_. He finally agreed to let them touch his feet when Blaine offered to play Prince Charming for and put them on for Kurt. He couldn't help the giggle or blush when his boyfriend pressed a quick peck to each of his ankle bones as he slipped the offending foot wear into place. Blaine had beamed back at him adding another quick peck to the tip of his nose before offering his hand to help Kurt up.

It turned out that Kurt was a horrible bowler and was dubbed by the group the '_King of Gutter Balls'_. Rachel quickly became his Queen. That was fine though; between the two of them, they possessed enough self righteousness to rival that of the British Crown during the Colonial Era. Finn was definitely the best but even he was pretty bad. Blaine landed somewhere in the middle. Kurt thought that if he had just been normal about it, not insisting that he try doing it backwards, or between his legs, or sitting down, or after some ridiculous dance move, some of which involved jumping on furniture, that he might have beaten Finn. Blaine however, seemed to have an inkling to be the court jester. The Warbler had always been the goof ball when he was around the Dalton boys. Kurt remembered, quite fondly, that it was Blaine, Dominic, and David who were the life of the party. The three of them could keep the others going for hours. It was nice to see Blaine step into that role again, if only to keep Rachel and Finn laughing so that she wouldn't start one of her rants about how underappreciated she is and he wouldn't attempt conversation and just end up making everything awkward. Kurt knew that Finn didn't mean to but the quarterback just had a way of making the room cringe.

They had ordered two pepperoni pizzas for dinner, Rachel letting her vegan habits slip for one night, and chatted amiably through the meal.

"So, Blaine, Kurt and Rach said that you're planning on heading off to New York with them next year."

"Sure am. My father went to Columbia and when I was younger we had always planned that I would follow in his footsteps. I don't really care about what he wants for me anymore but I have fallen in love with the school over the years so that's still the plan. A few my friends at Dalton are planning on Columbia too, so it should work out well."

"Columbia? NYU has a much better arts program."

"Blaine doesn't want to be a performer. He's going into pre law."

"A lawyer, dude? That's pretty impressive."

"That's a real shame. You're very talented Blaine. I would know; I'm very talented too."

"Umm, thanks? You're doing musical theater with Kurt right?"

"Yup, NYU won't know what hit'em."

"It'll be good because we won't have to compete with each other anymore so we can get more cut throat."

"Definitely! And then at our first production some big Broadway casting director will be there and realize that we have star potential written all over our dazzling faces and will cast us in his next show and we'll finally get to show this stupid town that we are way too good for it It's going to be amazing."

"Sounds like you got it all worked out Rach. What are your plans Finn?"

"Umm, I'm still not really sure dude. I guess I could go to New York with you guys but that seems a little intense for me. I'd love to get a football scholarship to Ohio State; that was kinda always the plan. Burt's sorta suggested that I go to a trade school and become a mechanic or go into business and then I can take over the shop at some point but I don't know."

"I think that'd be great if you could take over for my dad. Keep the shop in the family and all. You could always get your business degree at a school in New York and then you can still come with us."

"Yeah, I could. I kinda want to go somewhere where I can get a scholarship though because otherwise I'm going to have to get a job."

"I think we're all going to have to get jobs, well except Blaine, his parents have enough money to buy out NASA."

"I don't think it's that much, maybe a rocket ship or two, at the most."

"Are you two ready to live together because, like you barely touch each other?"

"FINN! I really haven't the faintest idea of how you believe that that is any of your concern but if you must know we don't plan on living together. We're both going to live on campus at our respected schools."

"Living on Rez is the only true way to experience university. I've lived at Dalton for three years now and it's been absolutely amazing. I wouldn't give up the chance to do it again and I want Kurt to be able experience it too."

"And that means I get Kurt all to myself. We're going to have so much fun."

Kurt walked up to the front door with a smile on his face and possibly a little more wiggle in his hips, Blaine was still parked in the drive way after all. He felt good about the evening. It was usually hit and miss with Rachel but tonight, he had truly enjoyed the future Broadway star's company. Finn had, as usual, allowed himself to speak without actually processing the words first but Kurt hadn't let it faze him. He was actually quite proud about being able to prove his brother wrong just now in the car. Not that he did that for Finn; he was doing it for himself. Kurt still couldn't get over how good it felt to be close to Blaine, to be kissing him. It was literally electric every time; he could feel his skin tingle and heat up under his boyfriend's wandering, yet gentle fingers. He didn't even mind the tenderness of his bruised lips. It made him feel good inside too. Helped repair the damage caused by the cruel society in which he lived, if you could call it living. It made him feel worthy of love, worthy of respect and decency. Blaine made him feel whole again. Finn was the last thing on his mind when the lips of the boy he loved were pressed to his. There wasn't much on his mind when lips of the boy he loved were pressed to his. The outside world seemed to disappear behind the Warbler's rich, golden eyes. It was only ever, just them.


	18. Chapter 18  Betrayed

**A/N: ok so this chapter is a bit of a story. I read a one shot called "Pamphlets" and was a little disappointed at the direction it took so I decided to write my take on the situation. The formats a bit different and I'm a little worried that I put too much plot in it that there are now going to be lasting consequences from this chapter. I was trying to avoid writing anything that would change anything going into season three but I couldn't resist writing this. I hope it's ok. I'd really love to hear your opinions, especially with this one b/c I'm a little iffy about it.  
>lessthanthree<br>katie**

Kurt and Blaine walked hand in hand through the front door of the Hummel house. They had just returned from a coffee date and were planning on spending the next hour or so curled up on the couch in the family room, absentmindedly watching a movie while they actually watched each other. Kurt could hear the voices of his brother, Puck, and Mike coming from the family room but he wasn't too concerned. Finn was good about sharing and he always seemed to accommodate Kurt's request for alone time with Blaine. Finn had really turned into a good brother and Kurt now found it hard to imagine what his life used to be like before his dad married Carol.

"_Ok that is disgusting. There is no way I would ever shove my dick up there. What would posses someone to do that?"_

"_Holy shit, it gets worse. Puck, they're using their tongues in this one."_

"_To do what? Oh fuck. I did not need to see that." _

"_I think I'm going to be sick; this stuff is just nasty."_

"_What are those? Oh my god, Finn where did you get those? Why were you in my room, going through my stuff? Why would you take those and show them off to your stupid, asshole friends? What is wrong with you?"_

"_Oh, ah….. Wait Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would upset you."_

Kurt didn't really care to listen to what Finn had to say. He had heard his brother apologize one too many times for not using his brain. He was mortified, humiliated, hurt, ashamed. He felt disgusted with himself. He still hadn't warmed up to the mechanics of gay sex yet and to hear them talk about it like that, talk about him like that, about him and his boyfriend like that, sickened him. He couldn't help the tears or the shake. He couldn't stand to be in the same room as them anymore. To have them judge him. To feel their ugly eyes bore into him. He could feel their hate. They were supposed to be his friends, Finn was supposed to be his brother. What the fuck was wrong with them?

He ran up the stairs, now even more ashamed of himself for fleeing. He ran straight for his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. His own bedroom, his safe place, now felt tainted. He didn't have anywhere else to go though. He was sobbing now. He needed some sort of comfort. He walked over to his dresser and pulled Blaine's Dalton hoodie out and over his head before crawling, defenselessly under his covers and curling in on himself. He felt broken again.

Blaine hadn't followed him. Kurt didn't know how to feel about this. On one hand he didn't want anyone to see him like this. He didn't want to talk about it. On the other hand his boyfriends arms had always made him feel better. They had always fixed him. He started to worry that maybe Blaine was upset too. Maybe Blaine wouldn't want to have to deal with this anymore. Maybe Blaine had left.

Then he heard something, something he had never heard before. It took him a moment to register what it was. He had never heard Blaine yell before.

"_Give me those. What the fuck is wrong with you morons? You're supposed to be his friends. You've known him for how many years now; you must know he's insecure about intimacy. Hell his father had to go out and get these for him because he was too nervous and shy to do it himself. What teenage boy do you know that would like to have his hang ups about sex aired out to the world? And why the fuck were you going through his things? There is no way he left those laying around, hell the fact that they were hidden should have set off the warning signals in that extremely dense brain of yours. And the way you guys were talking about it. It upset me to hear you idiots tear down and degrade the way in which we make love to each other, the way we show each other that ignorant, hateful people like you three don't matter. That he is the only person that truly matters to me. If it upset me, how the hell do you think it made him feel? You must have noticed that we are taking things slow. We do that because he still feels ashamed about acting on his sexuality. He feels that way because of people like you who take something beautiful and make it into some disgusting, degrading, desperate act, something less than sex between straight couples. You realize that you're all worse than Karofsky. At least he didn't pretend to be Kurt's friend before he stabbed him in the back."_

"_Blaine, we didn't mean…."_

"_Shut, the fuck up Finn. Kurt may have given you a second chance when you showed your true colours the first time and called him a fag but I'm not giving you a third. Now I'm going to go upstairs and pray that he lets me in. There's no doubt that he heard all of this and is probably angry at me for sharing but someone had to get through to you guys. You better not be here when we come out."_

There was some part of Kurt that was angry with Blaine for what he had said. There was a lot of stuff in the tirade that he told Blaine in confidence. He was embarrassed enough as it was though and he knew Blaine was just trying to help. It was easier to blame it all on Finn anyways. Kurt couldn't be angry with his boyfriend. If he was then he would have no one left. He didn't fell like explaining the situation to Mercedes or his dad to seek comfort elsewhere. He knew Blaine would be the only one who would truly understand.

It felt nice to have someone stand up for him. It reconfirmed how much Blaine did understand him, respect him, love him. To know that Blaine would get mad and defend him when someone had really hurt him made him feel a bit better, but only a bit. In all the cruelties he had suffered through, Kurt had only ever felt betrayed once before. Both times had now been by Finn. He didn't understand how Finn could be so caring and accepting one minute and then devastate him the next. Kurt didn't know how he'd ever be able to look Finn in the eyes again without feeling humiliated and exposed. He didn't know how he could ever trust his brother again. They had moved past the 'Fag Incident' but that had been different. Kurt had pushed him too far. Finn hadn't paraded it to his friends. This time Kurt was completely innocent and Finn had decided against keeping his find to himself.

Kurt was relieved when Blaine finally made it to his room. He was still embarrassed but he knew that Blaine wouldn't think anything less him. Blaine had proven that to him over the ten months that they had known each other. Blaine had already known everything anyways. He felt his boyfriend lie down beside him and curl his body around Kurt's, pulling him as close as possible with his arms. Kurt let himself cry in his boyfriend's arms because he didn't know what else to do.

"_I'm so sorry Kurt. I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for what they said, I'm sorry it was them who said it, I'm sorry you feel this way. I hate seeing you hurting. I love you so much, Kurt."_

Blaine continued to whisper soothing words into Kurt's ear while placing lazy kisses on the back of his neck and hugging him close.

"_Shhh. It's ok Kurt. They were just being stupid. They didn't mean anything bad by it. They were just uncomfortable and didn't know how to handle it. Shhh. It's going to be ok. They just don't understand. But they don't matter Kurt. You're the only one that matters. I love you."_

"_You were being a lot tougher on them earlier."_

"_Yeah well, they need to realize that not understanding something isn't an excuse for being insensitive about it. I sorta wanted to traumatize them a bit. I think it might have worked to, they seemed a little lost when I was finished."_

"_You know part of it isn't even about what they said."_

"_I know. You're embarrassed about being upset in the first place. I get it Kurt. No one wants to appear weak, especially boys. I know I sometimes feel an even greater need to come off strong because of the gay thing. I don't want people to think that the reason I want a man is because I can't take care of myself. Not that I'm saying girls can't take care of themselves. But everyone has their hang ups Kurt. Mine tends to be family related. I bet you even know what Finn's and Puck's and Mike's are. You're not alone in this." _

They both fell silent, pressed into each other, the occasional sniffle breaking through the quite as the tears continued to flow from Kurt's tired eyes. As he thought about it, he realized Blaine was right; he could pick out the insecurities in the Finn and Puck that would make them break down. Mike was a little tougher since he didn't know the dancer as well. Kurt knew that Finn had slight body issues and was fairly certain that if he prodded the jock enough about his less than toned stomach, he could get Finn to break. Puck's was a little less superficial. Kurt had picked up on Puck's need to be respected and believed in. Calling the bad boy a _'Lima Loser'_ enough, would more than likely set him off too. Kurt also suspected that mentioning giving up the baby would eat at Puck as well. All of this however didn't change the fact that Kurt seemed to possess the compassion to not nudge at others sore spots, expose them and tear at the wounded flesh making injury grow deeper, where as they didn't.

Kurt fell asleep laying snuggly under his comforter, wrapped in his boyfriend's arms as well as his Dalton hoodie. He had cried himself to sleep, coaxed by emotional exhaustion and the soothing of Blaine's words and touch. He awoke some an hour or so later to find Blaine still lying protectively around him and the house quite. There was a note lying on the floor that had been slipped under his door.

Kurt

I don't even know where to begin. I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad about yourself in anyway. I wasn't even really thinking about you when I took them and read them. They just sorta caught me off guard. You're my brother, Kurt and I love you for everything you are but there are still some things that I'm getting used to. I wasn't trying to be nosy or invaded your privacy, although I realize now that that is exactly what I did. I was just looking for some post it notes. I shouldn't have gone through your desk without asking. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I said. There are still things I'm uncomfortable with and that was just how I dealt with it. It wasn't supposed to be anything against you or Blaine.I know Blaine made it very clear that this isn't something that will just go away but I do hope that you can forgive me. I hope more than that though that you're ok, ok enough to at least be ok with me. I understand that you don't trust me anymore and that we're back at square one, if not in negative numbers, but I will work to get us back to wear we should be.

Sorry again  
>Your asshole of a brother<br>Finn

The note almost made Kurt feel worse. There was this underlying tone to it that just made him seem weak. He didn't want Finn or anybody to know that they could hurt him. He didn't want people to think he was fragile even though in this case, when it came to sex, he was. That wasn't public information. Blaine was supposed to be the only other person to know. He wanted to cry all over again. Blaine seemed to notice and walked over engulfing him once again and whispering in his ear.

"_What's the idiot gone and done now?"_

It was stupid but it brought a bit of a smile to his face and a chuckle to his soul. Honestly, he knew that he would forgive Finn eventually. His step brother had a good heart that was unfortunately lead astray from time to time by his thick head. Kurt also liked being Finn's brother too much to let their relationship slip away that easily. Both Finn and Blaine were right though, this wasn't just going to go away. It would haunt Kurt like the death threat did, like the stolen kiss did, like all the times he was slammed into his locker did, like the 'Fag Incident' did, like the time he was caught looking in middle school and got a knee to the groin did. Kurt wished that these events didn't have such an impact on him. He wished that he could simply let them disappear. He wished other people couldn't effect how he felt about himself or Blaine. He had been getting better but now he feared that he was back at square one. He wouldn't give up though. They may have slowed him down but no one was going to keep Kurt away from Blaine.


	19. Chapter 19  Keep Holding On

**A/N: Hey everyone I got a lot of positive feedback from that last chapter, which I was absolutely thrilled by. I love you guys so much. Getting reviews is definitely a high. One of the biggest things in the reviews was to not just skip over this incident so this chapter is Kurt dealing with the Finn after math. There was one reviewer who wanted me to use the incident as motivation for Kurt to prove to himself that he isn't doing anything wrong and to step things up a bit with Blaine. I like the idea and I'm definitely considering it for the next chapter. Let me know if you guys think that's a good direction to head in. Let me know what you think of this too  
>lessthanthree<br>Katie **

It was ten o'clock on Thursday night. His dad and Carol had just made their way to bed, leaving Kurt alone in the kitchen with his thoughts. He needed to do this. He needed to this for Finn but most importantly he needed to do this for himself. He carefully made his way to the cupboard above the sink and pulled out two mugs, setting them quietly onto the counter. He pulled out both milk jugs from the fridge, filling one mug with skim and the other, at little less than full, with 2%. He placed them both into the microwave and set it for two minutes. He took note of the way he doing everything very precisely and carefully. He was nervous; he didn't want to mess this up.

It had been a few days since Finn had broken him for the second time and everything between the two brothers was still awkward and uncomfortable and honestly just sad. Finn had tiptoed around Kurt ever since he had come home the next day from where he had presumably spent the night at Puck's. Kurt didn't know for sure, they hadn't really talked since, he didn't really want to talk; he didn't think he could talk. His prediction had been right; every time he caught Finn's eye he could feel his skin start to crawl, his stomach start to churn, his head start to replay the event and create its own, unique scenarios to humiliate him more. Finn always returned his mortified stare with a sad, sheepish smile and apologetic, sympathetic, pleading eyes. Finn was trying but didn't know what to do. Kurt didn't think Finn could do anything and couldn't really bring himself to do anything either. All the countertenor wanted was to avoid the quarterback at all costs. When he was alone however, he still wasn't happy. It always felt like something was missing. The hollow sensation however, was better than the nausea so Kurt took to hauling up in his bedroom or leaving the house completely.

He felt a little weird he was missing Finn so much after all everything the jock had done, after he had been the one to hurt Kurt the most. It made him feel even weaker and pathetic to want everything to just return to normal instead of truly wanting Finn gone from his life for good. They were close in some regards but certainly not all. When they used to spend time together it usually consisted of each doing their own thing but just happening to be in the same room. Finn would sit at the bar in the kitchen and eat while Kurt baked or Kurt would sit on the couch read while Finn watched TV. Kurt supposed that it was a little more than _'happening'_ considering more often than not he brought his laptop into Finn's room and sat on his brother's bed while Finn proceeded to blow up Nazi zombies, or Iraqi militants, or whatever other enemy forces that threatened the great United States of America. They really didn't have much in common and although they did talk, it was seldom anything of true importance since both boys had other people in their lives that they would turn to more readily. Kurt thought that maybe it was simply the companionship, to just have someone that was physically there. After his mom died, he spent a lot of time alone. His dad was always around but he was busy doing paper work for the garage or paying bills or other adult things. Kurt thought it was more than that though. Even so, at the moment he just couldn't bring himself to look at Finn or to be looked at by Finn.

Blaine seemed to understand his need to get away from his brother and happily complied with not bringing coffee over that morning so that they could go out for their caffeine fix and monthly Vogue read through instead.

They walked to the convenient store first so Blaine could pick up his copy and then proceeded on to the Lima Bean. Blaine held the door open for Kurt and as he walked in he was hit by the familiar scent of freshly brewed coffee, sound of hip, folksy, acoustic music softly playing, and the dim lighting casting an atmosphere that was all too comforting. This was the place where their relationship has truly formed. The place where they had fallen in love and proclaimed their love. It was sacred, had yet to be tainted. Although with the direction Kurt's life seemed to relentlessly take, he thought it was only a matter of time. Only a matter of time before the familiar comforts felt infected, polluted, contaminated with the poison of ignorance, injustice, and hate.

It was still fairly early and the morning rush had yet to die down, luckily though their table remained unoccupied. Maybe the world wasn't so cruel after all. It had become instinctive for both boys' eyes to dart to the little table for two, right in the center of the shop as soon as they stepped through the door. It never felt right if they had to sit elsewhere. When they made it to the counter the barista smiled brightly at them, obviously recognizing the boys. They did frequent the coffee shop multiple times a week. She took the order and Blaine handed her the money, ever dapperly, insisting on paying. _'It's the least my parents could do'_. She winked at Kurt as they walked over to the other side of the counter to await their drinks. Kurt couldn't help the smile that formed from the knowledge that at least they had someone's support, especially in their coffee shop. It helped the place to feel less public and more homey. It restored a little of the hope he had gained over the past few months and had lost a few days ago, the hope that some people were not only accepting but encouraging of and happy about his relationship with Blaine. It may have been somewhat patronizing but at the moment he would take patronizing gladly. He felt a little weird taking so much out of a simple smile and wink but he allowed himself to do so anyways. He needed to. Blaine needed him to as well.

Kurt selfishly, found himself forgetting sometimes that he wasn't alone in this relationship. There was another person's hopes, and dreams, and wants, and needs relying, depending, and living off of their time together, thriving from their thoughts and feelings for one another. Kurt knew that Blaine just wanted him to be happy but sometimes Kurt wondered if he was being unfair by denying Blaine a more affectionate, intimate, physical relationship. Blaine was always addressing his needs and catering their dynamic to him. He knew that there wasn't any other way for it to be, otherwise Blaine would be pressuring him but that didn't change the facts. Yes it was more important for him to work though his fears and issues for his own happiness and well being but he also needed to do it for Blaine. At this point in their lives it was ok to be timid and chaste but at some point, probably around their mid twenties, Kurt thought, he would need to have this all sorted through. He couldn't live like this forever. He couldn't live in fear forever. It just wasn't living.

They had collected their usual medium drip and non-fat mocha latte by this point and were seated at their table when Blaine seemed to notice Kurt's absent mind.

"_Whachya thinkin' about?"_

"_Oh nothing. Well actually, I have a question."_

"_Shoot."_

"_You're dad knows that you're gay and it's not really like he's making an effort or anything so why do you? Why don't you just finally get your subscription to Vogue? It's not like your hiding anything."_

"_Oh, yeah well I have honestly thought about it. I've done some things, you know like put up my _Across the Universe_ and _Rent_ posters. And there are pictures of Danny and I as well as the two of us all over my room. I actually just got the one from the roller coaster at Six Flags framed the other day. Oh, don't even try to give me that look; you love that picture and you know it. But I don't know, it just seems like those things are necessary for me to be happy and not go insane but a subscription to Vogue doesn't. I guess I just don't want to rock the boat any more than need be. Sometimes it feels good to have secrets from them, you know, some sort of rebellion. Really though, and this might sound just plain sad, I try and keep the gay stuff to myself so that maybe they'll stop thinking about it and maybe it can all go back to normal. I don't know if it's healthy but I honestly don't care. They are my parents and I know they've hurt me but what we used to have was pretty great so I guess if there are some things that I can keep easily tucked away so that maybe we can go back to the way it used to be then I'm ok with that."_

"_Yeah, that makes sense."_

It actually made a lot of sense. Kurt didn't know either if it was healthy for Blaine to hold onto that little bit of hope that he had somewhere deep inside him but the reason behind the hope seemed logical and natural. It reminded him of how he felt about Finn. He realized that he had held onto Finn the first time the boy had devastated him in the same way that Blaine still held onto his parents. They did so because maybe, just maybe if the person who had hurt you the most could come around then others would too. If Mr. and Mrs. Anderson could still love their son then the rest of the world could too. If the quarterback of the football team could accept and respect his brother then the rest of the world could too. Kurt still liked the companionship he used to share with Finn but now he understood what was really pulling him towards the other boy. That little bit of hope and while Blaine was clutching at straws, if he put in the effort, he could still have something solid to hold onto.

**To Kurt: **_courage, KK_ –Blaine

Kurt couldn't help but smile at his boyfriend's text. He had told Blaine during coffee that morning about his want to repair things with Finn and the Warbler had understood completely as well as picking up on his looming apprehension. It was nice to know that he would always have Blaine's support but Kurt wanted to be able to rely on others too. It would be hard on their relationship if they truly, only had each other.

He slipped his phone into the back pocket of his jeans and collected the mugs from the microwave. He made sure to top Finn's up a bit with more milk from the jug so that it wouldn't be too hot. His brother was a bit of a baby when it came to things like that. He climbed the stairs and gently knocked on Finn's door with his foot. Finn usually kept his door open but had left it closed ever since the incident. Kurt knew Finn was doing that for him, so Kurt didn't have to see him when he walked by.

Finn opened the door and Kurt could tell that he was a little surprised by the sight. He was grinning though and as much as Kurt hated to admit it, that ridiculously, goofy grin that practically screamed '_I have no idea what's going on so I'm just going to smile'_ was a source of comfort for him. It was one of first genuine smiles he had ever received from a boy. It was one of the things that had feed Kurt's crush on the boy for months. It was just simply pure, and honest, and inviting, completely Finn.

They didn't talk much. Neither really had anything to say. Finn had already apologized and Kurt neither wanted nor needed to explain to his brother in great depths as to why he was upset. Blaine had, unfortunately, already covered that. Instead, Finn popped a movie in and sat on his desk chair while Kurt sat cross legged on his brother's bed, watching contentedly while drinking their warm milk. It wasn't perfect yet but they were definitely past square one.

"The other day. I don't know if this is weird or not but I feel kinda lost without Finn. Not that we ever talked a whole lot in the first place but I used to just sit on his bed with my laptop while he blew up Nazi Zombies or whatever. I just wish this whole thing would just go away."

"Well maybe it can


	20. Chapter 20  Signature Medium Drip

**A/N: Alright so first things first, this is going to be coming to an end soon. I'm off to university this weekend and classes start Wednesday so i just wont have time. Also this was supposed to just be Klaine through the summer so it's fitting. i'm thinking maybe 2 more chapters. On a happier note, i added a little spice to the boys' romance in this one. It stems from the pamphlet after math and I hope it seems justified and warranted and beautiful (you know, just throwing out some of darren's go to words here) let me know.  
>lessthanthree<br>katie **

**To Blaine:** _Hey, r u busy today? Finn invited Noah over so they could blow the heads off Nazi Zombies together and idk, i would just feel better if you were here. If u had plans don't worry i'll see if Mercedes is free. –K_

**To Kurt:** _I'm on my way...with caffeine -B_

**To Blaine:** _3 –K_

Kurt excitedly ran down the stairs when he heard the door bell. He was always happy to see his boyfriend but he felt an even stronger need to feel Blaine's presence today. Kurt was still a little shaky from what had happened earlier that week. His dynamic with Finn hadn't returned fully yet but neither had really expected it to. Kurt sometimes still felt Finn's eyes boring into him, judging him, leaving him bare. He didn't really know if what he was sensing was accurate or if it was just his cruel imagination. Kurt suspected that it just an after math of his embarrassment. Finn really didn't seem to have the brain capacity to contemplate his brother's love life, or lack thereof, on top of his already hectic schedule of delving into the world of mortal combat from the comforts of his bedroom, the beginnings of the football season, and keeping a lid on the craziness that was Rachel Berry. He had also noticed that the jock was still tiptoeing around him. Sometimes he found it a bit patronizing but at the same time Kurt knew that that was all Finn knew how to do at the moment. The whole thing would just take some time. He had no intentions of being around the other guys though; if Finn was making him this on edge he couldn't imagine how Puck and Mike would make him feel.

He didn't look at Puck or Finn as he passed by the family room on his way to the door. He still felt himself tense up though. He didn't want to know what his body would have done if he had actually made eye contact with the mohaked jock. Once he pulled the door open he relaxed immediately at the sight. The gel addicted Warbler was leaning against the frame casually with his hip jutted out, clad in bright red skinny jeans, a white belt and a black polo. Despite his 'come hither' pose, Blaine's golden eyes shone soft and warm and inviting. His smile was comforting and understanding without being patronizing. This boy posed no threat. This boy loved him. More importantly though he came bearing the heavenly gift of a non-fat mocha latte._ 'For my beautiful baby boy'_ was inked across the side of the cup in Blaine's messy scroll. Kurt found this to be somewhat patronizing he also blushed and giggled at it as usual. If it had come from anyone else he might have cared but it came from Blaine so it was sweet and cute and managed to warm his heart and make him fall in love with boy standing in front of him all over.

Blaine leaned in and pecked him the nose and Kurt blushed and giggled even more when he felt the slight lick from his boyfriends tongue. It felt good to be able to relax and feel safe and not have to worry about the thoughts coursing through the minds of those around him. Kurt swatted Blaine's arm playfully before intertwining their fingers and heading up the stairs, Puck and Finn long forgotten.

"_Oh, hey Kurt, I kinda put these in my pocket when I took them from the guys and forgot to give them back. Do you want me to put them back in your desk?"_

"_Oh, umm, yeah here, I'll do it."_

"_Hey, what's wrong? You don't have to be embarrassed with me, ok? Trust me; I went through a time when I was just as uncomfortable with it as you are."_

"_Really?"_

"_Oh, yeah. When I first transferred to Dalton, hearing the older guys talk about that sort of stuff with their girlfriends totally freaked me out. And when curiosity got the best of me and I looked up the mechanics and stuff online, I swear I've never blushed so much or been so wide eyed."_

"_How did you get comfortable with it?"_

By this time they had taken up their usual seats on the floor. Kurt leaning against the side of his bed with his legs out stretched so that if he pointed his toes they would touch the wall and Blaine sitting opposite him with his back against the wall. This was their spot. This was where they felt comfortable. They had talked about a lot while sitting here. It was one part of Kurt's room that didn't feel haunted by betrayal. It was still sacred.

"_Well there wasn't one thing that made all the blushing and squirming and cold sweats disappear. In fact I don't really think they're completely gone and I'm fairly certain that they'll return a bit when all this stops being just theoretical. It just took time and a lot of actually thinking about it and not just ignoring the fact that one day I would be a willing participant. Believe it or not, I think it also helped being around the older guys and listening to their not so respectful conversations about it. They just sorta made it seem like not so big of a deal, not so taboo or hush hush. I mean, I would never treat sex like they did but oddly enough I think it helped me get over the initial shock of it all. They just made it seem normal."_

"_So you think that it should be special right?"_

"_Yes. I'm not sure I'm a wait till marriage kinda guy but I'm definitely a wait till the right person and right time kinda guy. I see it as a way to connect with someone, a way to show them how beautiful, and wonderful, and amazing they are, how much they mean to you."_

"_I like that. I want that too. Umm, ok, I have a question?"_

"_Shoot."_

"_What do you consider 'sex', cause there is a lot of different stuff in those pamphlets and I was just curious about what was what?"_

"_I know a lot of people count losing their virginity only when it's penetrative but for me, I think sex is all of it. You know...any sort of intimacy below the belt. I remember reading online one time that a good portion of gay couples never delve into the penetrative side but obviously they consider what they do do as sex."_

"_Ok, I agree with that. I think one of the things that upset me the other day was how they all thought it was gross because I guess I'm still struggling with actually seeing the appeal in some of it. I guess it just hit close to home."_

"_I know what you mean but I think some of it will become more appealing once you build up a certain comfort level with your partner and their body. But there are a lot of things in those pamphlets that we don't have to do, ever. They're just simply outlining all the options."_

"_We?"_

"_Oh...well yeah, you know what? We! Hell, we picked out baby names the other day. Look, Kurt, I know it won't be any time soon and I'm not sure that I would want it to be any time soon but I can see us being together forever. I like the idea of me being the one to help you warm up to all this. I want you to be the one I give myself to. You've given me so much and I am so in love with you that I just can't see it any other way. I don't want it any other way."_

Kurt had had his head down and been blushing all through the conversation but now it felt like his eyes were glued to the floor and his cheeks were on fire. It wasn't purely embarrassment anymore though. It was a combination of that and shock, and insecurity, and joy, and amazement, and love. Kurt almost couldn't believe how perfect Blaine was. If god did exist, which he highly doubted, it was almost as if Blaine was an angel sent just for him to make up for all the cruelties this god made him suffer through.

Something came over Kurt as he sat staring at the floor. Something that stemmed from not only feeling safe and loved and secure but also from the feeling of being wanted and desired just the way he was. Blaine wasn't just waiting around for him to start wanting more physicality, Blaine actively wanted to participate in the journey from chaste and sweet, to desire and passion. Blaine didn't just eventually want physicality, Blaine wanted it with him. A miniscule part of Kurt ignited as if sparked by these thoughts, these revelations, these truths. A part that wanted to throw inhibition to the wind, wanted to dance with the devil in the fires of hell in front of those who dammed them there because that new part of him wanted to feel that heat right this very second. It wanted rip Blaine's clothes off and just give himself to his boyfriend right then and there. That part, however, was buried very deep within him, hidden beneath the nerves, and insecurities, and questions, and innocence, and youth, but it was there. It had never made itself known to Kurt before today. He had never really been aware of the sex drive within himself before. It made his palms get a little sweaty, and his heart start to pound, and it awoke the butterflies living contently in his stomach. It caught him off guard but all Kurt wanted to do now was show the boy sitting across for him how much those words, that simple and yet extremely powerful truth, meant to him.

Without a second though, Kurt leapt into Blaine's lap. He wrapped his arms around the boy's neck, letting one arm drape down to explore and trace the muscles that defined his t-shirt clad back, while the other remained up high so his could twist and twine his fingers into the lose curls that fell there. He pressed his lips hard to boyfriend's perfect, pink, plump ones. It had been a few days since there last make out session and even then Kurt knew that this was definitely the more heated, more passionate, more lustful they had ever been. It was simply more. Blaine had wrapped his own arms around Kurt's waist but they weren't just resting there. Kurt could feel the guitar calloused hands gripping, he could feel his boyfriends finger tips press into the skin left bare from his t-shirt riding up. He pressed back into the touch, relaxing, melting. It was electric. It sent his mind in a thousand different directions as well as wiping it clear completely. It seemed to last for an eternity and only a millisecond at the same time. He could feel himself trying to pull Blaine closer but they were as close as they could get. Kurt could almost taste the sawdusty, peppermint scent that clung to Blaine their tongues tentatively touched and licked and explored the other. Their t-shirt clad chests were pressed against each other and Kurt could feel the rise and fall of Blaine's rib cage against his own. They fell into sync. It was if they were breathing as one, living as one.

"_Hey Kurt, Puck and I are going to get a game of touch going with the guys at the park. You and Blaine can come too. We could always use a kicker."_

"_Umm, thanks Finn but we'll pass." _

Kurt had been a little saddened by the fact that his brother was tiptoeing around him but he had never been more grateful for than now. Finn was generally one to knock while already opening the door. It was habit he was trying to wean him of. If the door had been opened this time, Finn would have found Kurt straddling Blaine, hair a mess, shirt a skew, lips bruised. The interruption pulled Kurt away from bliss and back to reality. The redness returned to his cheeks as he awkwardly climbed out of Blaine's lap feeling flustered.

"_Oh god, I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have jumped you."_

"_Don't be sorry. I definitely wasn't expecting it but it pretty hot KK."_

"_BLAINE!"_

"_I only speak the truth. Hey, come here. Don't freak out on me. I love you and I loved that, probably more than you know, and I'll love whatever other surprises you throw my way ok? You wanna go watch 'The Little Mermaid'?"_

"_Yeah ok."_

Blaine pecked Kurt on the nose before rubbing their noses together and releasing him from his embrace. They walked down stairs hand in hand and Blaine plopped himself on the end couch, resting partially on the back of the couch and partially on the arm rest while Kurt set up the movie. The short walk down stairs had helped Kurt calm down and gather his thoughts. He supposed he caught himself a little off guard. He still felt a little embarrassed by his boldness but not enough to make him regret it, not enough to make him shy away from Blaine, not enough to make him not want to do it again. It had felt good, everywhere. It had felt good on his lips and jaw and neck when Blaine had kissed and licked there. It had felt good where Blaine's arms had snaked around his waist and good where his hands grasped hold. It felt good where Blaine's chest had pressed up into his. It felt good inside, tingly, making his heart pound. It had felt good and right and nowhere close to wrong.

As Kurt walked back to the couch all he wanted was to feel that again. Feel the closeness and the intimacy that had been created as they had breathed together. Kurt bit his lip a little and blushed again but didn't think twice before climbing once again into Blaine's lap and lying against his chest. Kurt fell quickly back into utter Bliss.


	21. Chapter 21  The End of the Beginning

**A/N: ok so i know i said two more chapters but i changed my mind. This is the last one. i just want to thank everyone who stayed with me and who reviewed. I'm going to miss reading your thoughts and comments. At the moment i have no plans to write another multi chapter fic but there are a few one shots floating around in my head that might need to be written. This last one is short and simple and i hope it wraps it all up nicely. The ending alludes to the fact that blaine is going to transfer but i just want to say that i really, really, really don't want him to. I think that that is the dumbest, most unrealistic plot line ever. i also really love the warblers. Anyways i hope it doesn't disappoint.  
>thankyou all<br>lessthanthree  
>Katie<strong>

**PS. If my geography is off, blame google maps.  
>PPS. I wrote this while sitting in a starbucks (that'll be more significant once you read)<strong>

"_Wait, wait, wait! Let me guess, a medium drip and a non-fat mocha latte for that guy?"_

"_We come here too often, don't we?"_

"_Hey, you're one of the few customers who actually tips so I ain't comlpainin'. That'll be..."_

"_5.47, keep the change. I hate to break the news to you though, but school starts again on Tuesday so you'll probably be seeing less of us."_

"_Oh bother. Well I suppose if it means that you guys are off to better your educations so you can get high paying jobs so you can continue to tip me so well then I approve." _

"_We'll do our best."_

The two boys chuckled a bit as they moved to the other side of the counter to wait for their drinks. They had definitely become regulars to the Lima Bean over the two month break from school and really, even before school let out. They had fallen in love with the little coffee shop for several reasons. First and foremost, it wasn't Starbucks, which as Kurt stated on several occasions was '_too horrendously cliché that you practically screamed how unoriginal, uncreative, and mindless of a drone you were as you walked, hopelessly down the street with the most phoney sense of urban hipness ever known to mankind._' More importantly, though, it seemed to provide them with somewhat of another safe place. They couldn't spend all their time at the Hummel house, not that they did but the Lima Bean was one of their more frequented hang outs where they felt the most comfortable just being themselves, just being together. There was a good chance that the majority of the patrons walked in and out without noticing the two boys with their hands clasped across the little table for two, right in the center of the shop but if they did, no one ever said a word. Kurt figured that gourmet coffee was simply not a real draw for the true red necks of Lima; the Seven Eleven provided adequate caffeine for their '_oh so sad and pathetic pallets'_ and when the ignorant folk of Ohio attempted to step outside of the box they ended up stumbling into one with just a fancier label called Starbucks. The customers of the Lima Bean seemed to be a little more cultured and that had given them the brain capacity to be at least indifferent. The staff seemed to adore the boys, and whether that was due to Blaine's generous tipping and charming smile or the fact that seeing the two boys fight the uphill battle for the right to be together actually warmed their hearts, Kurt didn't know but he was glad to be greeted with a smile anyways.

But it was even more than that still. It was there, sitting in those two chairs wooden chairs that they got to know each other, where they had their first fight. It was standing in that line up where hopes and dreams were formed, destroyed, and formed again. It was where they had begun their first summer together in a way that neither would ever forget, where those three little words were exchanged between them for the first time across that table . It was where they had spent those lazy days of that summer getting to know each other even more. It was where they would draw the gruelling Ohio summer to a close.

As Kurt sat down on the '_surprisingly more comfortable than they look'_ wooden chair across from his boyfriend for the countless time that summer, he couldn't help but feel a little spoiled. Mind you, he had been deprived of everything that Blaine represented, gave, was for the entirety of his existence so you couldn't say he didn't deserve the Warbler in any sense of the word. Still, Kurt had spent practically every other day with his best friend, his boyfriend, his Blaine for the past two months. He had become closer to the boy than he ever expected, dreamed of, knew possible. He had been the happiest he could ever remember himself being and even when he had been devastated, Blaine helped remedy that faster than anyone else could ever do. Now though, as Kurt playfully returned the foot nudges that his boyfriend was sending his way under the table, their table, he couldn't help but think it was all going to be taken away.

School would start in three days. He knew those three days would go by faster than any other three days of his life. Blaine would be back in his Dalton dorm, back in his grey slacks, white button up, navy blazer with red piping, striped tie, surrounded by his make shift family, back where he had a true home. There would be no need for him to escape to Lima anymore. There wouldn't be time. With a senior year course load, the Warblers, and an hour and a half drive between them, Blaine just wouldn't be able to see him as much as the two boys had become accustomed to. Blaine would be back where he was happy and Kurt would be trapped within the relentlessly oppressive walls of McKinley High. At least with the return of threatening jocks maybe the embarrassment that was the pamphlet fiasco would fade if only for the need of true friends.

"_Whacha thinkin about?"_

"_Oh, you know, just how this has been the best summer of my life and how much I'm going to miss you when school starts back. Nothing much really."_

"_I know, I'm going to miss you too but it won't be that bad. We did the distance before."_

Blaine had a point, they had done the distance before. They had spent the last two months of their junior years at separate schools just after they had gotten together. They had done it and they had survived and Kurt couldn't have wanted it any other way but now was different. Now they had spent the summer opening up to each other, sharing their demons, weaknesses, hopes, and dreams with each other, sharing their soles with each other. Before they had been drawn together but now they were glued. Last year Kurt had had the excitement of Nationals to keep his mind occupied but now he feared that it would never stray from the gel obsessed Warbler with the golden eyes, perfect, plump lips, and velvety voice. Feared that he would spend every day missing the boy, missing what they had. Feared that the distance would take away what they had.

"_I love you, you know."_

Kurt looked up at his boyfriend and couldn't help the feeling of awe that swept him. It was a familiar feeling, one that seemed to come every time Blaine spoke those three little words. It always amazed him at how good that the simple statement could make him feel. Its meaning and power had not faded in the least since Blaine had first uttered them a mere two month ago. They still surprised him, caught him off guard a bit, still shot him to the moon and beyond. They were still expressed sweetly and calmly and a matter of factly. Like there was no doubt in Blaine's mind but nor was there any revelation. Like it had always existed and was so painfully obvious that voicing the words themselves was simply an afterthought. Looking into Blaine's breath taking eyes he could still see the same honesty, adoration and selflessness. He could still see into the depths of his boyfriend's sole, maybe even further than before. He could still see his Blaine, his boyfriend, his best friend. After all of the ups and downs of the summer Blaine was still the same, together they were still the same, still just them. Just the two boys who saw only each other.

Kurt realized then that if the summer hadn't changed them then the school year couldn't either. Being apart could not take them away from each other because they were simply stronger than that. They both dove, head first into this knowing that they were taking on the ignorant world by simply holding hands or sitting so that their shoulders touched. If they were able to fight hate, disgust, fear, they had to be able to fight the Ohio 161 highway. Their bond was deeper than physical closeness, it always had been and it always would be. This year would just help them grow even more as individuals and as a couple. It's wouldn't make them grow apart, Kurt was sure of it.

"_I know, I love you too."_

And who knows, maybe Blaine would surprise him. The boy did have a way of sneaking up on Kurt when he least expected it.


End file.
